Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Connie K on November 6, 2015 at 2:45pm

Brook and Barbara - i am so so sorry for your losses. This is such a hard road we walk  and we are all here for you. Sending you both love and prayers. Connie

Permalink Reply by michelle schlund on January 27, 2016 at 5:17pm

I just found this forum. I am Logan's mom, Michelle. Logan was 20 yrs old for just ten days, when I lost him 5/15/15 to a freak drowning(kayaking) accident. no one saw why he seperated from his boat, but the rapids sucked him into an underwater cave, he never came out. it took 25 man crew 3 days to recover him. I was 1000 miles away when I got the call. the next morning i was on a plane and spent the next 3 days sitting at a campsite waiting. then 2 more days for autopsy and cremation. I raised Logan by myself, as a single mom  so Logan was my entire life for 20 years. everything i did was for his best interest. this wasnt supposed to happen. I was supposed to gradually become an empty nester while enjoying his wonderful adult life unfold. I have no one. no other kids , no spouse, no parents, 1 distant sister who is no help. I am depressed,full of anxiety, cant function. just recently with the help of therapist, applied for LTD. waiting to die I guess............Logan Cole 5/4/95-5/15/15

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• LOGAN AND I HUGGING PROM.jpg, 366 KB
• logan cotopaxi, 4.1 MB
• logan poucks.jpg, 321 KB

Permalink Reply by Connie K on January 27, 2016 at 5:59pm

Dear Michelle

 I am so sorry for your loss. I hate to have to welcome you to this site and group. I lost my only child Daniel 3 years ago Dec. 1.2012. He was 17. I understand how you feel. We all do here and hope you can find some support and hope.  I am sorry you are so alone and just know that we are here and you can say whatever you need to whenever you need to. Sending you love and prayers

Permalink Reply by Connie K on January 27, 2016 at 6:02pm

He is such a handsome boy. What a great pic of him climbing that tree!!! Looks like he lived his life to the fullest <3

Permalink Reply by michelle schlund on April 19, 2016 at 6:33pm

My Logan,5/4/95-5/15/15 drowned in a kayaking accident. its 11 months and i feel as bad as ever, actually worse, because i was in such shock for the first 4-5 months. I raised Logan by myself, as both mom and dad to him. his friends were his brothers and sisters, everyone has moved on, gone on with life. I feel like i died that day too. Too depressed today to even make it to therapy. how can i fathom living for years to come, so all alone- no future. nothing to care about anymore. 

Permalink Reply by Connie K on May 5, 2016 at 3:50pm

Michele this is such a sweet picture. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult living without our sweet boys. <3

Permalink Reply by Debra on May 4, 2016 at 6:35pm

I lost my 19 year old daughter April 2nd 2016.. 32 days to be exact.. She crossed the center line for no obvious reason and rolled her car over in a water filled ditch..She couldn't get out of her seat belt. I need help.. I'm not coping well. I feel so hollow and lost without her.

Permalink Reply by Connie K on May 5, 2016 at 3:48pm

Debra

 I am so so sorry for your recent loss. I lost my 17 year old son Daniel, 3 and a half years ago in a tragic car accident. What a devastating and sudden loss. I know how shocked and lonely and completely shattered you feel. Just know that we are all here for you anytime. This loss is something you cannot understand unless you've lived it. You are not alone and I wish I could give you a real hug. Try to have faith that you will be reunited someday. My heart is with you. Connie

Permalink Reply by Patty on May 8, 2016 at 12:56pm

Debra,

I'm so sorry you're here.  Because there is only one reason you are and it's the worst reason in the world.  I remember 32 days in and it's terrible.  I lost my 20 year old daughter 6 years ago this August. And like Connie said, I always remind myself that we will be together again.  And for all we know it will be 5 seconds from now.  I think "For all I know maybe we'll be together next week or maybe tonight."   We are eternal beings.  You will be with her again and she knows even now how much you love her. ~Patty

Permalink Reply by Wyatt's Mom on May 25, 2016 at 10:17am

Our beautiful baby boy died at 2 months old.  We were so excited to be pregnant, as we were newlyweds.  What a blessing!  He had a name by the time I was 4 months pregnant: Wyatt Harris Smith.  A good, strong name, he would be with us forever.  In utero we found out that he had a bladder problem, an "anomaly" or birth defect, that affected his kidneys and could be fatal.  We were silent and frightened.  The doctors said we would have to do surgery on Wyatt once he was born.  Born premature at 34 weeks gestation he barely weighed 4 pounds.   Our little warrior, our little Wyatt was so beautiful you guys, I cannot believe how perfect he was.  He fought and overcame so many complications in the NICU, we were told he would be able to come home with us within a month.  Pure joy filled our hearts!  Shortly thereafter however, he developed heart function problems.  We couldn't believe it.  How had this happened?  There was no surgery, no cure.  At 55 days old, our baby Wyatt died of heart failure.  That was 6 weeks ago.  I love you Wyatt, you will always be my son.  Your daddy and mommy love you, baby.

Permalink Reply by Connie K on May 31, 2016 at 12:16pm

I am so so sorry for your loss. It is always unbelievable in any circumstance. Sending you love and prayers. <3

Permalink Reply by Julia Nichols on May 31, 2016 at 10:52am

We just learned that our daughter was murdered. She had been a missing person for 3-1/2 years. I was clinging to hope and praying for a miracle. I was stuck in the wrong stage of grief, and now I have to work through it all over again. My daughter was 19 when she went missing, was addicted to heroin, and had a lot of personal turmoil. We tried to help her but nothing was enough. The rehab places tell you to "let go" and they even tell you to kick out your kid. We had to involuntarily hospitalize her and she was enraged by that. She wanted none of it and they told me to just let her go back to where we had moved from, in Colorado. They warned me that I was too "controlling" and that nothing would work unless she wanted it. I'm so sad and I can't think straight. I wish I could have locked her up in treatment until her brain could function normally again. I'm a teacher in the Chicago area and I have to pretend that nothing has happened. No one at work even knows about this; they think my kids are just all grown up, then I change the subject. I've only worked there for two years, not exactly lunchroom conversation. The Colorado sheriffs were mired in scandal when she first went missing, so nothing much was done. Not to mention law enforcement doesn't care about addicts. I'm sure they will never find her murderer; he walks free and that's another terrible enraging part of the story. My daughter might have recovered and we might have gone on to have an adult relationship with all its joys and sorrows, but that was stolen from our family. We are shattered and our lives are ruined. I wish I could have saved my beautiful daughter. She was such a beautiful child, beautiful young woman. Drugs and evil ruined her life.

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