Gone after 46 years together

My husband died Feb.5th 2016 due to sudden cardiac arrest. It was 3 weeks away from his 64th birthday, 1 year away from his planned retirement. I do not want to feel this soul wrenching desperation . I want to be able to live but EVERYTHING reminds me of him. He was the love of my life. We married at 18, had our son, our only child when we were 23.  I miss him so badly.  My family, near and far has been so supportive but please, I need to hear something positive, from someone. One of my husband's favorite things to say to me was, " Lea(my middle name), Don't be a sissydick".  I will mourn him the rest of my life but I need, somehow, to see I still have a life, I know he would expect it of me.  Help, cause sometimes I feel like I am drowning in this sorrow and sadness.

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Permalink Reply by Fran on March 15, 2016 at 2:51pm

I am sorry for your loss. It may sound trite and I know you have heard it too many times already. I'm sorry you have to join us in our sorrow. I am 18 months into this. Initially I felt like my insides had been ripped out and I had a gaping hole. Altho I still hurt and miss my Bill terribly the pain isn't as sharp. 

That being said I still don't go out much. Don't care to shop. Can't make decisions easily. Would trade everything to have Bill back. I am trying to take baby steps.

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