Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jenny Renn on February 10, 2016 at 3:35am

Hi Carla

First of all, I am so very sorry that your Mom has passed.  I can imagine the shock of her sudden passing, this is a great touch stone to come to and share your feelings.  There are so many people on here with so many different experiences.  I too have lost both of my parents.  My father in September 2013 and then my mother in January 2014.  I loved my father very dearly but my mother was my best friend, just like you and many on here.  When my mother passed I just didn't know how life would be.  She was my one safe place to go to, she made everything better.  You will have that longing to call your Mom for a while.  It was like second nature to me, first thing at morning and last thing at night (and the hours in between) I would call her, everyday.  I know that your pain will be immense as not only did you lose your Mom but you lost your best friend. 

Come on here, day or night Carla, put your feelings down and there will always be someone to listen and to chat to.  Feel free to message me if you wish.  I am in my late 30s (well tipping 40 this year!), I have a husband and a son but there are times that you need for the person listening to understand how you are feeling a little bit more.  The only way they will feel that is if they, themselves have experienced grief.  My husband's parents are both still alive (for many years to come I hope) so whilst he listens, there are times when you want to rant and know that the listener has some understanding of how you feel the way you do.  I know that grief manifests itself in different ways but if you want to talk, I and many on here will listen for as long as you need us to.

What  you wrote makes complete sense by the way.  Remember, message me whenever you want.  Take care xx

Permalink Reply by Theresa on March 4, 2017 at 5:12pm

I am in the same situation, my mom died suddenly and unexpectedly from cardiac arrest, I spoke with her twenty minutes prior to her CA.

I have no one, yes it makes sense to me.

Permalink Reply by M on March 9, 2018 at 10:32pm

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mom on January 7 due to complications from a fall at home. My father passed seven years ago, I'm an only child, and am 42 with no spouse or children of my own. I feel untethered to this world, purposeless except for my dog. I know how you feel.

Permalink Reply by Sandra Walt on May 29, 2018 at 11:11am

Good morning, dear Carla.

I am so sorry by this tremendous loss in your life. It's not only the loss of your beautiful Mother, suddenly, but you're trying to make sense of something so senseless. It seems compounded by the fact that you feel very alone in this world. I remember my Mum saying that after her parents had passed (both in their 80's, she "felt like an orphan",... then she said "I guess no matter how old you are, I AM an orphan Who do you go to for advice, to share your triumphs, your joys, your disappointments, your failures if not your Mother? 

You are also dealing with the emotional and physical stress of paperwork related to her estate. Are you capable? I have 1000% confidence you are making your Mother proud - in all you do. And, your Aunts/Uncles are helping you. I'm so happy to know of this. When my Mum passed away almost 2 years ago I thought "how do I go on without the person who knew me the most in life?" She was the eternal optimist.

My doctor had just lost both his Mom & Dad within one month of each other - one expected and one not. He told me months later he was still missing them and finding it hard - but it does get easier, Everyone says it, but it's hard to imagine. Is there a day I don't think of her? No. But I am a Christian and God has given carried me when I find it hard to go on. You WILL find it hard to go on, but you will do it, and you will remember those happy times more than the circumstances surrounding her death. You will be standing someone/or driving, etc, and chuckle out loud at something funny she did. Then as I do, I shed a tear, tell her I love her, and thanks for the laugh. You will get there...I promise. It's almost 2 years and I still cry for her, but the joy of knowing her lengthy, painful illness is over is a blessing that I have to remind myself of.

Take care, my dear - you are not alone - you are NEVER alone. ((hugs))

Permalink Reply by Danny on August 17, 2019 at 6:12am

Great reply Sandra

Permalink Reply by Avi on May 29, 2018 at 10:41pm

I lost my mother on 15 may 2018 and I completely agree with you that we wish it was a bad dream. But unfortunately need to face the truth.
I wish strength for you

Permalink Reply by Sandra Walt on May 30, 2018 at 4:18pm

Avi, my sentiments and words to you are the same as when I responded to Carla. 

Just the fact that you are already posting and wishing strength for someone else shows me that YOU have deep strength. I am so sorry for anyone on this journey. xo