I lost my mom to cancer on October 15, 2015. That was the worst day of my life. I was at school in a different city when my brother called me at 1:00pm. I won't ever forget that call. 

My mom was my best friend. She battled against colon cancer for 2 and a half years. The tumor that was in her liver stopped responding to chemo, and her body couldn't take the chemo treatments anymore so her doctor decided to stop the chemo treatments. 

It's been such a crazy two months. I feel so dead inside; I've stopped caring about the ones I love. I'm absolutely dreading Christmas. I don't know how to get through the holidays. 

Anyone have any useful tips for getting through the holidays? It would be greatly appreciated!! 

Views: 247

Replies to This Discussion

it mit sond silly bt i let ballons off for my dad i do evn othr lovedd 1st iv losss i do

its lk givin thm a gitf it is 

iv beanin byin a lot of ballons sine 2012 a lot i do 

sum tims i wite a lert o thm or merry xmas sum tims i do

sorry abit typun vad spelin or typin erros 

2 day im in dnt giv a shit mod i am mums illnes dos ths 2 me laty it doz so im sorry if im not bean anise person u cud say

sum tims i let thm off my dad ballons thy burts in a big bang thy do its lk im geta a mese frm my dad or hi so on 

sorry fr yroe yore loss 

im so mest up

My mom was the 10th of october, i feel your pain. All i want is for my mom to come home. I wish i had tips, i just feel its getting harder. I could use some tips as well. I am so sorry for your loss Kelly.

Kelly, I am not sure, as I am having a hard time with the holidays as well. I am finding if I stay busy I do better. Other than that I don't really know. 

Jo B, It actually sounds like a lovely idea. My aunts, uncles, and cousins let off floating lanterns for my Mom on the 4th of July and I thought it would be a nice idea for Christmas. I feel like I need to mark it somehow. 

Hi Kelly,

I saw this on Facebook and I thought of you. I suppose some of them seem like common sense. For me, since I have been on winter break my normal routine has gone out the window. This has really affected my mood. I don't know if it is because I suddenly have the time to dwell on missing Mom or if it is thinking about the holidays without her - I have just been a mess. I know that I should be incorporating these tips into my life on a regular basis and keeping a routine, but sometimes I need a reminder. 

Sending you hugs x

Christmas can be a stressful time for some. Here are some tips for lifting your mood when you are feeling low:

Chat to someone. Make an effort to talk to someone positive in your life – being sociable and having a positive conversation will help improve your mood.

Exercise. Nobody ever regrets exercise. Ever! It is one of the greatest mood enhancers.

Sleep, rest. Make an effort to put everything else aside and have an early night if you need it, you could try just lying down and relaxing if you cannot sleep.

Plan something enjoyable. If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut and work is dominating your life, plan an event that you can look forward to.

Shower. Some days your low mood can seriously get the better of you. At these points, make the effort to at least shower. If you shower, you are more likely to get dressed. If you’re dressed, you’re more likely to leave your home or do something productive.

Write a list of your achievements. We have all achieved something. Sometimes it’s important to remind yourself of how capable you really are. It doesn’t matter if you can’t think of anything big – if this is the case, think about what have you achieved today.

Steer clear of unhealthy quick fixes. Try to avoid using unhealthy self-help techniques to improve your mood in the short-term, such as smoking, excessive alcohol and junk food. Your mood will spike high but then a massive slump will follow which will end up leaving you in a worse state.

Recognise when to seek help. If you’ve been suffering from a low mood for more than 2 weeks, and it is affecting your life and relationships daily, it is important that you seek help. Talk to your GP or healthcare professional.

 

Hi Kelly,

I wish I had an answer for you, I lost my spouse to colon cancer on 5/5/2013, my first Christmas my sister spent it with me, thank God she was there or I think I would have went crazy. Just make sure you are on alone on the 1st Christmas. My grief is still fresh even though it has been almost 3 years, He was my soulmate and my heart is broken and can't be fixed. Stay with this web-site, there are great people on it who are all suffering and the only ones who understands. God Bless, Linda   

Thank you! I first joined when I did a Google search just a day or two after she passed away. It's crazy to think that they are no longer with us. 

She had a fairly easy ride up until the end. Otherwise up until that point she squeaked by without too many symptoms. Just the usual hair loss from the chemo, and the odd nausea and vomiting bouts, but otherwise she never had any pain until the very end. 

I'm at peace with the fact that she is not suffering anymore, even though it sucks for my family, but at least she didn't have to suffer any longer than she needed to! 

My husband had a great Doctor that kept his quality of life good though his  treatments until his death, he just went into a coma and died peacefully thanks to Hospice, Those people are angels from heaven.

I guess the best tip would be to do what makes YOU feel better. It will be entirely different for you this year, if you spent Christmas with your mom before. But, if you enjoy Christmas lights--DO Christmas lights. If you don't want to listen to Christmas music, turn something else on. Everyone is different.

Odds are doing much of anything just seems like too much work. On the other hand, maybe it would make you feel better to do something for someone else. What did your mom do? Would it make you feel better to do some of what your mom did?

I have not listened to Christmas Music this year, It is my third Christmas without my beloved Husband and they just make me sad. Just drink beer to ease the pain.

RSS

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service