Will this ever stop hurting?

Today was ridiculously hard. Two years ago today the surgeon came out of the operating room to inform me that he had found a tumor on my husbands appendix that had metastasized into his abdomen and that he was stage four cancer and had maybe 9 months left to live. He left me crying desperately on the floor. My husband lasted 26 days. 

I have cried so hard the first part of today I have nothing left. I am exhausted and forever alone when my only reason for living was to share life and love with him. Nothing else while trying to reconstruct my life since then gives me any joy. Life is so hollow without his energy. All I want is to be with him again. 

Views: 796

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Debbie on February 11, 2015 at 3:35pm
I am so sorry for your loss and to see anybody in this much pain it really bothers me. I am going through the same exact thing. If I hear one more person tell me to take it day by day I'm going to scream. I wonder if you feel the same way. It is just an empty lonely feeling and nobody understands. Everyone says to me snap out of it, easier said than done I want to snap out of it I just can't.do you feel the same way, if so you're not alone.
Permalink Reply by Lea B.W on February 21, 2015 at 10:03am
To experience a loss of a mate is devastating. There is nothing that can make you whole again. The only way to feel a measure of comfort is by having a solid hope for the future. A time where what we lost will be replaced. And a time when we will never have to experience losing them again. A time of peace, Love and security a time like this is for told in the Bible. John 5:28, 29. Acts 24 vs 15. Rev 21 vs 3, 4. I hope reading these things give you a small comfort and hope to draw from as each day goes on. As you do live each day I pray that you will find a hope so secure in knowing you can see your loved ones again. I pray for this time as I reflect on my friend and even the recent loss of another dear friend so suddenly.

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Welcome Them!
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Welcome Them!
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Welcome Them!
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
1 Comment

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service