Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Cindy Giron on July 8, 2010 at 6:46am

Crystal, I am so sorry about your mom! I think it is completely normal to question your faith. The question is where do you go from here?

I lost my dad over a year ago and questioned my faith too. I saw other people who has lost someone close to them and they were praising God, thankful that their loved one was in heaven. I thought they were so strong and it made me angry. Why couldn't I be like that ~ totally believing that God was doing great things? You know what I talked to some of the people who I thought were strong and they too had moments when they questions why God took their loved one. What helps? Talk about your loss, write about it. I'm sure other people on this site have also questioned their faith and as a result ended up growing closer to God. God really doesn't mind us questioning as long as we seek him for the answers. Praying for you and your daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Amy Zielke on July 8, 2010 at 4:04pm

I am so very sorry about your mom. Your mom is well and whole again, I hope you can find comfort in that, if nothing else. Is there a pastor or someone you can talk to about your faith struggles? You may also look into seeking a spiritual director to help you. I sought one out because my faith was wavering because of another situation and I am doing better where my faith is concerned. Take care and be gentle with yourself right now. Sending hugs...

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Permalink Reply by Crystal B on July 10, 2010 at 7:33pm

Thanks for the replies. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. Sometimes I feel like she is okay and in heaven and that I'll see her again, and then I get down and miss her and want her back and just don't understand why this happened. I never thought this would happen.

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Permalink Reply by Lucy K on July 11, 2010 at 2:08am

Hi Crystal

So sorry to hear about your mum. It must be such a huge shock and I can hear from your words how difficult it is for you, especially that she died so young and without getting to know your daughter. Wanting her back is so very normal and those who we love so much and depart, we always want back.

My partner always says noone ever dies, and he isn't a person of faith. He says life as we know it is just one of the many ways life takes form. He would say your mother can never die, as life can never be extinguished. Her life will always be and I dare say, I"m sure you will always feel her close to you, as I do my departed aunt, who I always feel is close, despite her death 2 years ago.

All the best wishes from Australia.

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Permalink Reply by Byron Eugene Jordan on July 22, 2010 at 9:42am

Hello Crystal
I feel the hurt with you. And your mom was just a baby. My mom was 58 when she passed in 95. She also passed away due to Liver Cancer. OH and By the way to all I am new on here. And this will be my first post. First unlike me you are doing the right thing by coming on here. You need and you gotta have support. Someone who is walking with you but remember we all deal with loss in our own ways. For me I fooled myself in thinking it would be OK I am a tough guy. Well Guess what I got myself in some big time messes. And acted out in negative ways that did not help. From all the test that has been placed in front of me. It is OK to question your faith. Because this is what the lord wants you to do. Heaven and our loved ones are very near us but in a hole different dimension. Fight the fight for our lord Jesus christ. And let nobody forget we are his children. That means he will be like a parent to get our attention what ever that shall be. For the good at end. Follow that path in thinking and its hard as heck big time and etc....... But we will see our loved ones again. Remember you will have to go see your mom now. Just the same for me, and for me my family is all at the other side with our lord. Also to let you know in time and when your mind is off into never ever wonderland. The lord could open that door. For you to hear your mom speak to you. And I believe in that, I have heard my mom, in fact a few days before my dad died. I could hear her, and almost could feel me touching her. This is a gift from our Lord Jesus and his father. And for your dad, be very watchful and caring for him. He may very well have hurt that he just cannot bring out. And yeah he lost the love of his life. Yes he is in deep shock. Love your dad double now. And I know he loves you so. And for your baby always talk to her for the rest of your life about grandma.

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Permalink Reply by Crystal B on July 26, 2010 at 6:41pm

Thanks for your reply. It's hard to believe it's been almost a month since she passed. I'm still having a hard time believing it. Her birthday was July 18th and that was hard. I am dreading all of the upcoming holidays.. this sucks. I just want my mom back. I feel I have gotten a few "signs" and that is helping some. I showed my daughter some pics of her today and I think she is starting to forget her :(

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Permalink Reply by Byron Eugene Jordan on July 26, 2010 at 10:42pm

Hello Crystal
OH!! Yes birthday's and holidays are real hard. And this birthday for your mom was extra hard. Because it was so soon since her passing. But does it get easy oh no. For me it is a roller coaster ride. Well it is great at one time because I make it a special day. MOM'S day. Then on the other hand it is hard because I cannot be with her. And she cannot be with me. Well she is but in a certain way.
Yeah!! It has been a month and soon it will be a year before you know it. That miss starts the second they are gone. As I say minutes turn to hrs. and hrs. turn to weeks and months turn to years and so on. But the deal is we have to go to them. And we have to make sure we live the way Christ wants us to. We must...if we want to be at that place with our loved ones and with him. And to be at that place where a loss of a loved one want happen again. And to say your mom is not lost you know where she is.
Your daughter may not forget your mom. But she is young so her memory of your mom is not going to be real strong. And your doing great buy showing your mom's pics oh her. And of course as time goes on. You may not always do that or talk about your mom. But you will, and your daughter will talk about her grandma as well. And when she does go all out to say all you can.

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Permalink Reply by Byron Eugene Jordan on July 28, 2010 at 9:36pm

Crystal
Today would be one month since you lost your mom. Not sure if it seems that way to you or not. But I know this is a hard day for you. Just letting you know that you have my thoughts and prayers.

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