Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Steve Suehiro on February 15, 2015 at 1:54pm

I lost my 36 year old wife unexpectedly in August.  Last sunday marked the sixth month since she passed.   I came home in the evening to cook her favorite dinner only  to find her in bed- she appeared to had passed shortly after I had left for work in the morning.  It was traumatic to say the least, and the darkness that descended on me was deep and profound.   I have no clue how I made it through those dark days and weeks following her death.  I did not think that I would ever make it, but somehow through the help of family and friends and grief counseling I am still here. 

 

I truly have no idea how you must feel right now, but I hope you reach out to the good folks of this community.  We have all lost someone here and are doing out best to move forward and pick up the pieces and be here for one another.  As for me I can say that there is light at the end of this dark place, and it will take a long time to find your way forward.   Please do not give up hope.  Know that I and others here are on your side and here for you.

Permalink Reply by Sharon on February 15, 2015 at 9:42pm

So sorry Steve. She was lucky to have such a loving caring husband. I hope I can make it through this...

Permalink Reply by Steve Suehiro on February 18, 2015 at 11:26am

Thanks for your kind thoughts Sharon.   It is a difficult thing to unexpectedly lose someone you love, and the path that lies ahead is a long and difficult one. 

 

Speaking for myself I know that I did not think I would make it but somehow I did and looking back over the past six months I know that I will be able to keep living without my wife.   It's not as if I have a choice after all - my only real option is to live as well as I can in honor of my wife's short life because I know that she would not have wanted to cause anyone pain and suffering.   She would not have wanted me to roll up into a ball and give up. 

 

I know that it is hard, but I beleive that you, like me, will be able to make it out of the darkness. Just know that we are all here for you.

 

Permalink Reply by Gale Brunault on February 15, 2015 at 5:14pm

Hi Sharon - my name is Gale and I lost my only son on June 9, 2014.  Both he and his girlfriend died together from an accidental overdose.  How old was your son?  It's such a shock.  He was my world -

I'm so sorry for your loss and the fact that you had to see him that way.  Please know that I'm thinking of you and sending hugs your way

Gale

Permalink Reply by Sharon on February 15, 2015 at 9:38pm

Thanks gale. My son just celebrated his 24 birthday last month. He was so handsome and smart. I just don't understand...

How old was your son? I'm sure your pain is unbearable. We miss them so much and feel cheated from watching them get married and have grandchildren...

Permalink Reply by Gale Brunault on February 16, 2015 at 9:43am

Hi Sharon - my son was 31 when he and his girlfriend were found dead in her bedroom on Monday morning of June 9, 2014.  Yes the pain is unbearable - yet I go on.  Can I ask what your son died from?  There is another group called "Missing my son or daughter" that I belong to and I find it really helpful.  I certainly don't want to minimize the loss of a partner/mom/dad/spouse, however I know from experience, that losing a child is a very different loss.  I've been through losing both parents and though it was terribly sad, the death of my child doesn't even come close.  I am forever changed - my world is tainted and I look forward to the day when I will see my precious Michael again. 

hugs to you

Permalink Reply by Sharon on February 16, 2015 at 10:01am

Gayle,
We are not sure. He had previous drug problems, but seemed to have turned his life around. He was back in college and working full time. We think that it was probably heroin... But we have to wait for the coroners report. At This point, it doesn't really matter. It won't change anything...we know it was an accident. He was supposed to come over to my house for dinner and was excited about spending his day off with his girlfriend of six years. She didn't know he was using again either. I just pray that he is in peace and that I will see him again when I die. I wish I could die now. Did you ever feel like dying? I'm just in so much pain. People do not understand. I agree gayle.. I lost my mom last year and that was nothing compared to this.

Permalink Reply by Sandy Hendrix on February 16, 2015 at 10:53am

Hi Sharon, so very very sorry to hear about your son.  I lost mine 18 years old on October 27, 16 weeks today.  The pain is unbearable for all of us.  I'm sort of ok for a couple of days and then it comes crashing down on me again.  Been a hard couple of days. This time last year my son was in rehab. I just saw an email from the rehab place last feb 2 on my computer. Hurts so much, I don't know how we go on.  just one day at a time I guess is all we can do. hugs

Permalink Reply by Sandy Hendrix on February 16, 2015 at 11:13am

Hey Sharon, for me the "why" and "what if" are horrible.  Why wouldn't he let us help him? Why was he so unhappy.  The weekend was hard, every day is hard.  This is so fresh for you, it's hard to even function at all in those early days.  I didn't go to work for 2 and a half weeks and then I left early every day.  I'm back to working full time now and it's exhausting.  I stayed home today, just way too tired, cried all weekend.  I'm so sorry your son went back to drugs again.  I see you are close, we should get together.  I think your daughter is just having a normal reaction, i had those panic attacks.  I have a 21 year old daughter too, it's so hard on all of us.  He said he hated his life but how are we supposed to go on with this pain? Hugs and love to you.

Permalink Reply by Sharon on February 16, 2015 at 3:54pm

Sandy I would love to meet. It's definitely going to take time...

Permalink Reply by Connie K on February 16, 2015 at 1:17pm

Dear Sharon

 i am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 17 year old son 26 months ago in a tragic car accident. I am sorry to have to welcome you to this sight but know you will find support and hope here. we understand your devastation and the idea of being cheated out of your son's life and grandchildren. It is just heartbreaking. Sending you love and prayers

Permalink Reply by Colleen Hammond on February 20, 2015 at 8:18am

hi Sharon. this is the first time I'm on here. I was touched by your post b/c I could've written it too. on November 3, I went to my daughter's apt b/c she wasn't returning my texts. maybe I shouldn't have seen her. in the moment, I HAD to. haunting. today I'm having more anxiety. I'm sure this is ptsd. keep breathing. know you're not alone.

megan's mom

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