Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Crystal on January 12, 2015 at 5:35am

No the hurt never goes away, you just feel it differently. Yes, what you feel is normal & you're ok. It may seem cliche, but it seems to be normal for the first year or two is the hardest-it truly is. Loss is loss-no one can take that from you or for you. Recognizing that your dad isn't around anymore is a HUGE shock to the system, it never truly ends. I'm here for you nonetheless, Monica. Don't think you'll forget him, you never do. You have memories & the family who also lost him. Help them & they'll help you. Message me if you want to talk more. You're ok.

Permalink Reply by Monica Griñe on January 12, 2015 at 7:30am

Thanks Crystal, I'm glad I found this site. Yesterday was another first for the family, it was my mommas birthday, and she realized that this was the first birthday she's had alone since before she was 19. My birthday is the next and it's still so weird and feels so off not having him here to celebrate birthdays, i miss him so much, I dream about him constantly and look at our text conversations, half of me wishes there was texting in heaven, just so I could read it.

Permalink Reply by Crystal on January 12, 2015 at 9:31am

I know what you mean. Shortly after my dad died, I had an ADE dream. Long story short, he essentially told me he was fine & happy again. I still have moments where I pick up his cell phone & remember he's gone. Or I want to tell him something & then realize he's gone. Last night, I woke up missing my Step-dad that made me wake my husband & cry in his arms. I just lost my Step-dad last February, & my father in law a week earlier in last week of January. It hurts beyond words. I wish I could talk to them all again, but I have family & understanding friends. You have them too-use them! Even after 3 years, life without my dad cuts deep still. I remember those firsts-holidays they weren't part of, family moments they can't share, etc. Just know the pain of loss gets easier to catch yourself with, though things hit still like a Mac truck. I'm glad this site is here too, so we can support each other & learn how to cope. Again, I'm here for you too. Take care ok?

Permalink Reply by Monica Griñe on January 12, 2015 at 5:55pm

Thank you for your support crystal. I'd dream like that a while back and he told me everything is alright and that he loves me....sometimes I think I can still hear his voice clear as day and that's hard. He gave the best advice and the best hugs. I wish I would of gotten a hug one last time. I'm sorry for your multiple losses. I'm here for you as well and with all the support, we can learn to cope.

Permalink Reply by Stehanie Loughmiller on January 12, 2015 at 12:35pm

I can postively 100% understand how you feEl because i lost my father at a young age last year december 23rd. Our Stories Are similar with a few differences... but i can tell you time heals all. You'll have good days... youll have bad days. But you will make it though and come out a stronger person. I promise. If you ever want to talk my name is stephanie. Were about the same age so ... im just saying im here if u need someone to listen and understand.

Permalink Reply by Monica Griñe on January 12, 2015 at 5:50pm

Thank you Stephanie. I wasn't expecting to find a lot of people close to my age on here but I've realized, no matter what age you are, a loss is a loss. Thank you for commenting on my post :).

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on January 12, 2015 at 2:44pm

i lost my dad in 2012 3.3.2012 thn loss no stop 

dont let any 1 tell u 2 get over it or else coz tht will mk u feal worse 

i still esspect for him 2 be in nxt room i no evry nw again iv sean him sit on a seat at table only a few blve me few dnt belve me 

sorry for yore loss monica

Permalink Reply by Monica Griñe on January 12, 2015 at 5:52pm

Thank you JO, I'm sorry about your loss as well. And I'm pretty sure if anyone told me to get over it, I'd definatly tell them something, we all grieve in our own way.

Permalink Reply by Amber Timmons on January 12, 2015 at 3:21pm

I lost my dad unexpectedly in Oct 2007. He was always there for me until about 6-7pm at night and that's when he'd start getting drunk. I miss him with my whole heart. He tried over and over to stop drinking. The other day I wanted to call and chat with him so badly but I know he's gone. I graduated from college two months after he died, got married 7 months after he passed away, and had a gorgeous daughter in January 2009. I love my little girl, her 6th birthday party is this Friday. I had myself in tears the other day because I could just picture him at her party, beaming away at her. He was so fun. We had nerf gun wars with each other growing up and he would have been the same with her. I never realized my dad was the glue that kept our family together. I, as well, thought I was closer with my mom than my dad. But I never realized how close I was with my dad, I was his little girl and he was ALWAYS there for me, no matter what. Anyway, the reason I'm writing to you, is the pain and ache is so strong at first, I felt like I could barely breathe the first year, every time I thought of him. It gets better. I'm crying writing this now but not uncontrollably. I was at a friend of my daughter's birthday party this past weekend, and I had a good time telling a really funny story about me and him. And I enjoyed it, and remembered it with happiness and no tears. You'll get there, it will still hurt, but it will be more bearable. I make sure my daughter knows her Grandpa Ross and how much fun he was. We look at family pictures and she can point him out, it makes my heart happy. His parents are still around and I think once they go, that will hit me very hard as them being around is still a 'piece' of him here I can talk too.

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on January 12, 2015 at 3:26pm

2 day iv cryd for my dad askin him 2 cm bak if he can why dad i miss him so mush i no iv sean him siton on a seat at tabl only few blev me on hear its hapend 2 othrs 2 thy hav sean thr dads clear as day 2

Permalink Reply by Amber Timmons on January 12, 2015 at 5:36pm

My dad always joked around that if he ever passed away he would come back and let us know, flickering lights, something. About a week after he died, I noticed lights dimming a little bit. I wasn't sure if I was seeing it or just WANTING to see it. I was crying and told my soon to be husband, "I wish I could know for SURE it was him." The lamp across the room from us, literally started turning off and on really fast. It had never done that before, and it never did it after that. I take that as proof. :-)

Permalink Reply by Monica Griñe on January 12, 2015 at 5:48pm

Amber you are right, my daddy really was the glue that held us together, I am a lot like my dad, in the end I was a daddy's girl after all. And when I went to visit my dad at the cemetery it was a eater cloudy day, looking up from where I was sitting I could see this patch of rainbow in the sky and I knew it was him watching me. My mom tells my siblings and I that we truly have the best guardian angel.