Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Connie K on November 20, 2014 at 11:38am

I am so sorry Anthony. That is a lot of loss to endure. You and your brother have to be there for each other. I know it must be extremely difficult. Sending you support and prayers.

Permalink Reply by Anthony G on November 20, 2014 at 11:36pm

Hello Connie thank you for the kind words and support and prayers God Bless

Permalink Reply by Angela Y on November 21, 2014 at 6:03am

Anthony, I'm so very sorry for your losses. I too lost my mom and brother within 8 months of one another. We were a family of 4 and now it's just my father and I. It has been a difficult road to travel. The questions will never go away, I know this because I have some for my brother as well. Grief can be all consuming if we allow it to be. It is ok to grieve, cry, be angry and numb. It isn't ok to unpack your bags and stay there though. Take the time you need as there is no magic day it will all feel better. In fact, I find it only begins to feel different. We are forever changed but why wouldn't we be. May God help you find peace and may you learn to accept the new life's journey you find yourself on.

Angela

Permalink Reply by Anthony G on November 29, 2014 at 6:51am

Hello Angela 

Thank You so much for all your kind words and support it has not been easy i think because of not knowing the reason why they took their lives we were a close happy family even though my remaining brother and i live 550 km away from where my mom and brother lived we always remained in contact and were always together over the christmas holidays but we always have good memories and thats what keeps us going and with good faith , i am also sorry for your loss may God bless you thank you again for your kindness 

Kind Regards

Anthony

Permalink Reply by Anthony G on November 29, 2014 at 6:57am

Hi Raquel

Thank you for your kind words speaking to someone that shares the same grief makes it so much easier to talk to i tend to be stubborn and keep things to myself being able to speak openly makes a big difference 

Kind Regards

Anthony

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on November 29, 2014 at 4:12pm

  so sorry for yore loss anthy iv had multi loss non stop sisne 2012 my dad died on 3.3.2012 at 220am thn loss non stop loss non stop in 2012 thn 2013loss non stop thn 2014 loss non stop im so srry for yore loss

Permalink Reply by Jenny Renn on November 30, 2014 at 1:48pm

Hi Anthony

I am so sorry to hear of your losses.  I shall pray that God gives you strength through this very hard time.  Although questions will always be constant and frustrating, may your fond memories that you mentioned be of much comfort.  This site is great to air any feelings that you may be keeping inside.   (always better out than in!) I find it hard sometimes to talk to friends about my grief and on occasion my husband.  I lost my Dad in September 2013 and my Mum passed on last January.  It is nice though to pop on here every so often and to know that there is always someone on here that can relate and to know that you are not alone.

God bless.

Permalink Reply by Anthony G on January 17, 2015 at 8:46am

Hi Jenny

Thank you for your kind words and prayers , i am sorry to hear off the loss of your Dad and Mom 

its very true we will always have many questions but as you say we will have the fondest of memories , the problem i have i dont talk much about my loss not even to my remaining brother i keep everything inside i am a very placid and soft spoken person at heart but i find myself lately getting frustrated with the smallest of things i believe speaking to people with similar feelings may help i just need to open more , i just remain very strong in front of my 12 year old daughter trying to be the brave daddy :) 

Thank you again for your kind words and prayers may God bless you 

Anthony

Permalink Reply by Nanita on January 17, 2015 at 3:20am

Hi Anthony, I just thought I'd say hello. I'm also in SA. I am very sorry for your loss. I've had 5 losses in the past 5 years. One was a suicide. It is terribly difficult to accept a death in that manner and you are left with many questions and the belief that there is something you should have done differently that could have changed the outcome.You have been through a terrible time. If I may ask - are you seeing a professional?

Regards

N

Permalink Reply by Anthony G on January 17, 2015 at 9:05am

Hi Nanita

Thank you Nanita i am sorry to hear about all your loss through the past 5 years its not a easy journey as you say suicide isnt easy to except , i live in Johannesburg on the west rand my whole family including uncles aunts and cousins all lived in Natal Durban , i have one remaining brother that lives in Johannesburg , we always visited my mom and dad my dad passed away 8 years ago it was very difficult for my mom as we were a very close family , the death of my brother in Feb 2013 was devistating for my mom and his twin brother was very hard for us all , and suddenly on the 2nd of September 2013 my mom and brother commited suicide the reasons are still unknown they didnt have financial problems they had a good business they were doing well i still spoke to my brother on the wednesday the monday i get a call from our priest about the suicide , the most difficult part for me is how does a mom and son decide to take their lives together and make the final decision to actualy do it thats the part that haunts me the most my remaining brother has been for help i myself havent been for any help everything is still kept inside if you go on google and type Mom and Son found hanged in kzn at their illovo beach home you may see the news paper report , they never showed any signs of severe depression but then again we spoke always over the phone had i been in natal close to my mom i may have noticed something different , its never easy loosing loved ones having a look at what i just wrote it seems i have opened up a bit :) 

Thank you to you and all the kind people that offer kind words and inspiration to all that have suffered losses May God Bless you 

Best Wishes

Anthony

Permalink Reply by Nanita on January 17, 2015 at 4:48pm

Hi Anthony

I am in Cape Town and my family is in PE. I will always feel guilty that I didn't go home sooner and see my brother-in-law. I believe that I may have seen how bad he was - often the people close by don't notice these things happening. A few years ago I went home and saw straightaway that there was something wrong with my sister that my family hadn't noticed. I took her to the doctor and had her admitted to a facility. She was in a very bad way. My brother-in-law was very depressed and they had told me, but it was much worse than they thought. He only saw a doctor 3 days before he died.

I am so very sorry for your losses. I can't imagine how you feel. I think you should consider speaking to someone. I have gotten a lot of help by talking to a psychologist - especially after I had to take my mother off life support 2 years ago. It would definitely have been a lot more difficult without it. But also, I think it is something you should be ready for. When it is right for you, maybe you will be able to talk about your losses.

My thoughts are with you. If you ever want to chat about how you're doing, please do.

N 

Permalink Reply by Anthony G on January 17, 2015 at 9:09am

Thank you to all the kind people that offer kind words and inspiration to all that have suffered a loss may God Bless you 

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