Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by dawn larvan on October 23, 2014 at 1:39am

Hi vee I'm from the UK and that's why I came on here 5 months ago. I'm so sorry about your loss you're,obviously still in shock I am after 5 months still.when it's sudden and there's no reason you keep asking yourself why,why did they take him why did he leave me all alone,unfortunately there's no easy way I've tried believe me I still expect him to walk in the door,I would just say surround yourself with people who love you and no one can take away your memories,I'm not very religious but I have to believe I will see him again and you will too. Do what you want not what other people expect of you, I will be thinking of you

Permalink Reply by Wander on October 23, 2014 at 6:35am

Oh, Vee. I'm so, so sorry. Six and half months ago, my soul mate left us just as suddenly, only 3 days after his 40th birthday. No warning, no real explanation-- we were told it was "just one of those things." I still cry every day, and they never invented enough words to describe how desperately I miss him. Like you, I have children from a previous marriage, and my beloved and I weren't able to have a child of our own, although we tried, and were still trying-- we didn't even get 5 full years. I'm only still here because my kids need me, and even though I know they need me, I pray daily-- to who or what I don't know, because I'm pretty much an atheist now; what kind of loving god would take my husband and devastate our family, just like that?-- but still I pray every day that I'll lie down to sleep and never wake up in this miserable world again. I want to believe I'll wake up in his arms, and that's all I have to hope for now.

I wish I had some magic words that would make it better-- people keep promising me that it does get better, but so far, it's a struggle to get from one day to the next... from one breath to the next. I'm so, so sorry. Peace to you...

Permalink Reply by Lost & Alone on February 14, 2015 at 1:22am

That is so true

 

Permalink Reply by Silva Delphine Reynell on October 23, 2014 at 8:40am

Hey Vee,

I'm in a similar boat as you. Two weeks ago Joe unexpectedly passed away, he was 24. We hadn't been together for as long as you and your man but iv'e never experienced that kind of love. Was so excited to start planning a life together and now all has been severed. I am also from the UK, i havn't started grief counselling yet but i'm looking I not it. Have you looked into that? I've heard that psychotherapy is potentially more helpful. You must be feeling a whirlwind of emotions... i do. They hit you in the face at any random time with no warning. The things that make me happy are they funny things he used to do and that i was so lucky to have had that time with Joe, i feel like he has shown me so much and i definitely think differently because of him. xx

Permalink Reply by Vee on October 23, 2014 at 9:21am

Thank you all for the kind words. I`m still in shock. Dawn, i hope you`re right. But if i really believed i`d see him again, i`d gladly go do it now.

Wander, we have a lot in common. My kids are now grown up with families of their own, so i dont need to keep going for them, but still i do. Like you, i`d rather not wake up again and face this daily nightmare of trying to live without him. 

Silva, love is love, wether you knew him one week or one year. we all know when we`ve met the love of our lives. I have looked into therapy, but i`ve been told no-one will see me for 6 months as grief is same for everyone in beginning, and that i basically have to deal with it. 

But i don`t know how to deal with it. I`ve never lost someone so close before, and i hoped  we` d grow old together. Never did i think it would end like this. If one more person says to me smile, it`ll be fine, you`ll get over it, i may hit them. It wont be fine. I wont get over it, and frankly, dont want to get over it. I dont want to smile, i feel guilty about even eating and just hope for my life to end soon. Wish i could believe it will get better, but i dont :(

Permalink Reply by Melanie on October 23, 2014 at 10:12am

I'm in the same boat as you. I lost my fiance 2 months ago today. He was 26 and I have known him since I was 5...I fell in love with him at a very young age. We were definitely soulmates. We were planning our wedding, supposed to be on 9/5/15..he had been suffering with heroin addiction for about 3 years now. We bought our first home in January..I don't know how to go on and every single second is a struggle. 

Permalink Reply by Vee on October 23, 2014 at 10:52am

Sorry to hear that Melanie. Addiction is a terrible thing, for everyone involved. Every second is a struggle. Everywhere i look i see something of his, and promptly burst into floods of tears. I dont know where my life is heading anymore. 

Permalink Reply by Shawna T on October 31, 2014 at 10:51am

Vee, I understand exactly where you are coming from.  I lost the love of my life suddenly in early October.  He had been recovering from a surgery and was doing well and expected to be fully healed soon.  I still cannot believe he is no longer with us.  I like you think about how I thought we would grow old together.  My heart is broken, my body feels cut in half and I cannot think beyond a moment or two.  How do you live without the person that was so much a part of you?

Permalink Reply by Vee on November 3, 2014 at 12:50pm

So sorry for your loss Shawna. 4 weeks today my Eddie passed and is struggle to breathe. I dont want to live without him, but i have no choice. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and i cant see how i will ever cope without him. I can only take one step at a time. There is no looking into the future, let alone next week me for me. I love him so much and cry all day long. I dont see this ever change. 

Permalink Reply by Donna on December 26, 2014 at 8:43pm

Shawna, I am so sorry for your loss.  My husband passed away in October also.  He too was recovering from surgery and was expected to make a full recovery but a pulmonary embolism went to his lung and took his life.  I and my children are in total shock and I too am heart broken and struggle just to get through every day.  He had never even been sick before this surgery and I never dreamed this would happen.  I pray that we all find some kind of comfort and healing.  I am even experiencing anxiety when I am out for any period of time and I have never had that before. 

Permalink Reply by Lost & Alone on February 14, 2015 at 1:26am

I don't think any one can tell you, I know I can't tell you how I know that I am not living, I am Exisiting.....

God bless you

(Hugs)

Permalink Reply by Alyk Esor on November 2, 2014 at 12:04pm

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and the grief you're going through.  I lost a loved one recently as well.  We had been broken up but I also felt like he was my soul mate.  Unfortunately he had severe substance abuse issues and I ended the relationship.  I think it's very brave of you to have stayed by the side of your partner.  

I know that we are more than bodies and regardless of what a person believes a part of their energy and spirit is still around after death.  I feel my friend in my heart sometimes and I hear his voice, telling me to let go and live and be free.

This past month has been very intense and painful though there have also been many good things happening.  I'm also very disconnected form his friends and family, which has been difficult, though I realize that I need to move on.  Though I am still grieving and that's ok...

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