Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
for me iv had 2 mush death in lst 3 yrs or so blue i did i snapet aftr my lst loss in july i got mad at him/her yea a lot of 1s i lost had bad habits i bet him/her has bad habits coz we all do
on my dads sde of famly thy cristins well sm r or cathlic or athests thy r or so on
yea a lot of 1s i lost wear smokrs i wonder dos god smok he/or s
he
a lot of thm wear hevy drinkrs as well dose he/she drink
i wish drink wud num pain of grief i wish i cud drink non stop till i can not feal it any mor
my anti d i lots in july wz so lovng kind as well but has a strke big c on top wnt hme 2 die wen i saw her on death bed it will kill me for ever
lk u no wen u lost yore hubby it will kill for ever even zell on hear even dennis evry 1 on hear will h a t e grief for ever
all death is bad so not fair
for us on hear we will nevr be us again
yea thn it upsets me it gets easy no it dont get easy
or it will pass no it wiilll not pass we no it will not
or we get told thy wud ot wnt us 2 be lk ths yea maby but its death it dose 2 us
stuff iv dun mixng booze pain killers 2 num pain it stil can not num pain
pain is so bad of grief we can num it
sorry tears is on me again
Zell,
I know what you mean -- believe me, though I do not share your views, I do respect you and your right to hold those views. I know you are in a pain similar to mine, and I wish neither of us (nor anyone else) were feeling this and living in this horror.
The only way I can try to help others here is to let them know that they're not alone in the way they feel. I cannot offer consolation in terms of god or an afterlife, because I am agnostic/atheist. I don't say that there is no god or afterlife, because I don't know, and I would never tell someone else that s/he is wrong to believe as s/he does. But I do feel that people (not just you -- everyone, myself included) need to realize that there are many different belief and non-belief systems, and that all are valid (since we cannot actually know, at least not while in this earthly human life, the true nature of god/afterlife, if either or both exist). It's fine to share your views, but it's fine for everyone to share their views.
There are many, many posts, on this site and others, to which I do not respond, because I can't offer the people who post them anything, so I say nothing. There are many other posts to which I answer in a limited way, just to let the other person know that s/he is not alone, but I don't say anything about the way I feel about the afterlife or god, because it wouldn't be helpful to that person.
I know that you are grieving, and I wish you weren't. I see that you are genuinely trying to help people, which is a good thing. And since for you, you believe in god and feel that s/he gives you strength, I understand why you share that. I'm just saying that it shouldn't be assumed that all people (here, or in general) feel that way, and even among those who do, not all share a belief in the Christian version of god -- there are many ways to look at god. Sharing your way is a good thing, as long as others are also allowed to share their way, or to share that they don't have a way or don't believe there is a way. In this case, I answered Jo's direct question that she posed.
All of which sounds kind of mean, for which I'm sorry, as I don't intend it that way -- it's just hard to get "tone" across online. Zell, I like and respect you, even as I disagree with you. I hope the like and respect comes through as much as the disagreement. ;-)
Good, I'm glad it comes through. :) Yeah, a coffee chat would be a bit difficult to accomplish....
I know that your sharing comes from genuine concern. If I knew that my husband is happy & safe, that he is still himself, and that we will be together again, that would help. I would still want to die as soon as possible, so as to be with him, but at least I wouldn't be questioning whether I would be with him. If there is an afterlife, I don't believe that humans need to do the things you believe they need to do in order to get there, though. There are probably as many views about that as there are people on this planet....
You're absolutely right that this horrific experience devastates your life. My life is over, in every important way other than the physical because my stupid body hasn't yet stopped. Even if there is an afterlife where I will be reunited with my husband and eventually with the rest of my family, which of course I want and hope there is, I very much doubt I will ever be less angry or sad or in any way get over the fact that he was ripped from me and our life was torn apart for no reason. An endless happy afterlife is great -- but we should have had this life, first. And as you said, every day we go through the pain again, that will never change because the circumstances will never change. This world lost all appeal for me, too, the second my husband died. If there is a god and if it has any mercy or kindness, it will let me die as soon as possible.
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