"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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too much pain
Its been a yr and 2 mo since I lost my only sister and it just seems like im living a nightmare.I wake every morning with dread almost.Its an awful feeling, a feeling that I even feel guity for having.You see I have a 6 yo and its not fear.Im so good at putting a happy face on when inside I feel like im dieing.A part of me died that day.My son leaving for college just really added to the pain.I know he didn't die but hes not here part of my everyday life.I miss him more than hell ever know.We were so close when he was little but as he became a teenager he separated I know that its normal but oh how I miss him.How do I ever find happiness again.Im so tired of crying but the loneliness I feel is overwhelming.I only have a couple of friends and im a stay at hm mom I have no desire to even go out and try to make friends for ive had enough hurt.I even feel guilty for writing my feelings down but I just need to get it out.I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore.Why didn't I appreciate her more?Why weren't we talking ?I couldn't let her think it was ok cuz I knew she had a problem. Denial denial denial.You see she accidentally overdosed only 47. We were suppose to grow old together.Shes the only one who really knew me.I miss my big sister.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Connie K on
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I'm so sorry for your loss. But her spirit is still with you. I lost my only child 15months ago and it is crushing grief. Try to have faith that you will one day be with your sister again and give all the love you can to your kids. Maybe do a garden in her honor or something to celebrate her life. Hugs to you
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Permalink Reply by Megan Neeley on
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I know how you feel I'm also a stay @ home mom and I lost my father to cancer 4 months ago & it still feels like yesterday. It's hard to get out and do stuff, you just feel like you want to stay home and not do anything. Nothing feels the same anymore. I ask myself Why didn't I talk to him more or visit more often, what could I have done differently at least 10 times a day. But I know deep down that nothing can change what happened no matter how much I wish. What has been helping me is writing down memories I have of me & my father it helps bring some good back into my life, there is plenty of tears throughout but it has really helped me a lot. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Look at the stars and see your sister there and talk it may help.
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Permalink Reply by Becky G on
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So sorry for the loss of your sister.i pray you have found some comfort since your post. Life deals some very difficult blows. My mom passed away suddenly and due to her final wishes my sister and I no longer speak so it's like I lost 2. It struck me that you said you wished you would have appreciated her more. I'm sure you did but sometimes as my husband says were only human. I feel guilt about my mom too and although my sister is very cruel to me I still regret losing her. My niece had drug problems and it can be devastating. I know it hurts and I pray you will find some joy. I too don't have many friends although I could but since I moved many years ago I don't reach out much and now that my mom has been gone 2 years I'm still sad. Blessings!!
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