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Sandy Hook 911 calls and missing my mother,
She was here with me during that and it makes me so very sad that happened while she was very sick. I was her caregiver and I asked her to not watch the news that day.
The thing is she was a librarian at my elementary school. This was the worst thing for her to hear about. She died less than 4 weeks later.
I cried when I heard the 911 tapes tonight. My husband does not understand why I get emotional about people I have never met. Am I ? I am still mourning the loss of my mother and I hope she is leading those lost children in heaven. I miss her everyday.
I feel so bad for their families.
Still mourning 10 months after.
Views: 601
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jean on
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Thank you for talking to me. It really helps. The clearing out of the downed tree limbs and talking to a couple of neighbors made me feel better. I have just sort of shut down communicating unless with family matters. I have been on my own with the help of my husband dealing with all of the property issues. We have stayed very busy. My sister cannot help due to her disabled daughter and my brother lives on the east coast and never has been involved much. So here I am holding the reins of our family. Thankfully it is not a large group.
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No tree here....I got into yet another fight with my older sister yesterday. She said we will not be spending Christmas together this year. BooHoo I could care less. I am still hearing chainsaws in the hood. I hired two guys to haul the bulk of ours to the curb. yay me. Hubby won 2 plane tickets to anywhere in the USA last night.
He had to work all weekend long.
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Where I am we have 4 years to go through probate. I spoke to 4 attorneys before settling on one yesterday evening to help me do that part. My neighbor is giving me the name of a trusted CPA. I have so much of all of that on my mind focusing on Christmas parties etc is very difficult. I will do what I can and hope for the best. Baking sounds great. Putting flowers on moms grave Sat after the rains come is next. I hear we have another big freeze coming so if I can I will have our fireplace inspected. One day at a time is all that I can do right now. At least I have moved up from one hour at a time. At first for a long time it was one minute at a time.
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Permalink Reply by Judie Browne on
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I hired a lawyer about 3 months ago so I can take possession of the property. When I hired the Lawyer I felt as thou I was really starting to accept the fact that she is gone. I am still moving slow in the process. The last family Christmas was held at our house. No Christmas will ever be the same. I just do my best not to make my children miserable. My daughter is the sweetest person I know and has done everything to make comfortable in her home. Her spouse is equally as kind. We often cry together. I find that walking is helpful. That is a time that I talk to God and my mother. I miss you Ma.
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I decided not to have children at a very early age due to the fact that my older brothers had me babysitting from the age of 9. After my dad died I talked my mother into getting me a pony at or around age 12 or 13. I think it helped her get through the loss of her husband, my father. The brothers would saddle me with 5 children at a time. It was like I was a burned out mom by age 13. Anyway the pony really did help mother and I through some dark times. I still have a horse now. Number 5. I have not been riding in several years due to several reasons. Mother always babysat our pets while we traveled. We didn't go a lot just once a year. She loved all animals. Working in the yard yesterday was good for me. I have holed up since she passed away. Our whole neighborhood lost loads of tree limbs. I got the chance to talk to two neighbors and that was nice. One lost her mother 11 years ago and still misses her everyday. This heartache will be with us for the rest of our lives. We do not get over the loss we just learn how to deal with it. Maybe I will put our little fake tree up tomorrow. I might even bake some things so this weekend my husband who has to work all weekend will have some treats to take in for himself and the people who report to him. After the rain I will take flowers to mother and dads grave. I had them upgrade the site to join their headstones and add a vase in the middle. I am also going to plant a few bulbs. I had a lot of issues with the cemetery right after her funeral. They know me well there. I want to honor her requests as best that I can and then I will figure out my next path. She knew about my job being shipped overseas and that I have a chance to learn a new skill. Only time will tell which path I will take but I am very sure she will be cheering me on the whole way. Miss you momma now and forever.
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That is great about the tickets you can go some place away from things for a moment. I can't begin to tell you about family members attitudes about things that's no business of theirs. At least you are fighting with your sister. I have just about abandoned my mothers family since she died. It hurts but embarrassing that you are related to a group of idiots that think they can dictate to an adult. I am so glad my mother taught me to be an independent thinker. I welcome good advice but to dictate not here. I really enjoy this communication it feels good to share. Sometimes things come out of me writing to you that I didn't realize was in there. I read it and say I didn't know that was in there. I talk to God often and I think that helps me to continue to go on. I guess we must be kindred spirits. Sometimes I feel like I am sitting down over coffee talking to you. Okay I guess I will go have a cup. Love My Mama
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As of today she is now my Ex sister. I am so pissed off at her I cannot see straight. She is older than me and has never been kind to me. I try to help and all I get back is BS. I don't drink coffee but hot chocolate is sounding really good right now. I am not doing Christmas this year.
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At first my brother was difficult When I told him about the bills he humbled himself. That was because he had no intensions of helping unless it was putting money in his pockets. Now I have to call to find out if he is still alive. Family was so important to my mother and my grandparents. As the first generation dies out the connection is not strong at all. I hope you and your husband can find some joy this season. My daughter told me we were having a good Christmas this year. I even agreed to go to the in-laws. If you know what I mean. lol I will pray for peace. I love my mama
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I think we will be dining out this year. A nice change for me to be waited on. my sister is on my naughty list. My husbands family is not doing their yearly Christmas party. Thank God. I am just very weary of putting up a false front. Going out will be a treat.
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That is nice you need that. Use those tickets soon that will help too. Pamper yourself. All will not go away but you can focus on yourself for a few moments. I get angry with my Mom for leaving this for me to figure out. I get ok about it but I do get angry sometimes.
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My sister told me to go to hell today. I told her as long as she is not there I am all good with it. She is 4.5 years older than me. We have never been the best of friends. She did call back and tell me she was sorry. I owe 19K in taxes. I am so stressed out I honestly could drop dead and not care. My mother left me in charge of everything. Right now I just do no if I can deal with it.
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I totally understand. I didn't have a choice. It's been three years almost my hair is going grey and people still want to dictate but when it comes to paying no one will offer to pay. Taxes, I can't think anything but hate it. I decided I am going to do whatever I need to do and forget all the do it this way or that. I made fudge and ate all of it glucose level went sky high. I was so sick. No more fudge this year. I was just testing a batch but I couldn't stop myself. Now I have to do some extra walking to accommodate those calories. I still want to send my granddaughter a batch. My mother loved to shop for my granddaughter. All she had to do was call and tell granny what she wanted. Off we would go on a shopping spree. I miss those things we did together. I love my mama.
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