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Sandy Hook 911 calls and missing my mother,
She was here with me during that and it makes me so very sad that happened while she was very sick. I was her caregiver and I asked her to not watch the news that day.
The thing is she was a librarian at my elementary school. This was the worst thing for her to hear about. She died less than 4 weeks later.
I cried when I heard the 911 tapes tonight. My husband does not understand why I get emotional about people I have never met. Am I ? I am still mourning the loss of my mother and I hope she is leading those lost children in heaven. I miss her everyday.
I feel so bad for their families.
Still mourning 10 months after.
Views: 601
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Survivor17 on
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Hi Jean Elizabeth , It's so natural for us to cry when we are reminded of our loss whether directly or indirectly ... Let yourself feel what you need to feel and don't worry about what others think say or do ...
People deal with grief in all different kinds of ways , And to me it sounds like maybe you have a big heart and honey that is not a bad thing at all... just maybe it makes you a little more sensitive to the sad stuff .
I am the same way... even before my moms passing I would cry at other peoples misfortunes or at a celebrities death...
Give yourself a break and a big fat hug for being human ((( HUGS )))
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Permalink Reply by Jean on
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Thank you very much. I do feel other peoples pain even though I do not know them. I always have felt that way. My husband is a very good man he just does not have the same empathy that I have. I should not have listened to those calls from Sandy Hook.
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I'm sure your husband is a great guy and you are blessed to have him, just try to be kind to yourself . Maybe listening was not the best thing , however you cannot and should not try to shield yourself from anything and everything that will trigger your emotions . That can cause some anxiety and other problems.
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I have had anxiety issues for a long time. Thankful the meds work. Yesterday was the 10th month without my mother. This Christmas is not going to be easy.
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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on
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me 2 feal sad for thr famlys wen i hear peles bean kiled in disters i get upset i no wen my dad died it wz sush a shk but i dnt thng i cud lose mre famly frinds on top surgte uncle nboz on top
my dad wz grt wit kids in famly he wz lk a 2nd dad 2 a lot of pele frm adilts 2 kids lk a surgte grndad 2 sm of his grt nephws
thn i hear on radio nelson mandela is dead he wz 1 of my dads hearos as well he admierd any 1 it stud p fr peple
im sory fr bad spelling i shud use dicsnery but cnt fnd 1 or spell chk
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I feel your pain also. I lost my mother 2 years ago and time has made a little difference, however I have those day as if it was yesterday. Maybe we should not try hard not to miss them just try more to get an understanding of that cycle of life. We're born, we live, we die, and we are missed by those we love so dearly. Please note I said maybe because I am not there yet accepting the cycle. I understand your pain.
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Thank you. I'm not so sure about anything anymore. All I know is I must carry out her estate business and all of it is getting me down. There are so many bills and things to deal with it is very overwhelming. None of my family is helping with any of it so far. Taxes are coming due very soon. I try to find the positives in each day but so far the last few weeks has been a real bitch. She told me to put the little fake tree I bought up no matter what happened. We always had a real one but with aplastic anemia she was allergic last year. That is a sorry damn disease. I bought some tiny ornaments for it but so far have not much cared to put it up. I have no desire to go pretend to be happy at Christmas parties either. My brother died Dec 16th 2002 and his 28 year old son killed himself Dec 12th 2003. Christmas is not my favorite time of year. I know I should go help out others in need but since I have not worked in 2 years money is tight. Thankfully I have plenty of things to sell. My MIL has been asking my husband what I would like for Christmas. I know she means well but I just can't deal with anymore stuff. Wine and chocolate would suit me just fine. Maybe a fruit basket. Why does it have to be about more stuff I do not need? I have lots to gather up and donate once I can deal with it. I still cannot go into her room without bursting into tears every time. It makes me want to get rid of a bunch of my stuff too. Who needs it? Sorry for being the Grinch.
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I am having some of the same things. I got fired from my job yesterday and I know my attitude had a lot to do with my grief. I have taxes coming due too and I have been wresting with this property thing for almost 3 years with little or no help financially. I have tried to sell it to no avail with this economy. My mother and father were divorced but they died in the same year. I took care of my mother until her death in February and in June I just happened to decide to go to visit my father and found him at the brink of death. He died that July. Again I had to plan another funeral. My father's death doesn't bother me as much as my mother's because I stayed with Daddy through his time in Hospice. My mother's was unexpected, she was to have surgery and beat this cancer but she never got to come home. I was in a chair right beside her bed close enough to be in the bed with her but I didn't hear her dying. I could hear her if I heard something I was up and attending her at home and we were in separate parts of the house. I keep asking myself why didn't I hear her. The dilated eyes I can't get out of my head. She slipped away and left me and I can't seem to put it in prospective. I LOVE AND MISS MY MOM TILL IT HURT.
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I am sorry you were fired. The people in charge these days are heartless. I also have property I am trying to sell. The house I can lease out as soon as I figure out what to do with everything in it. It was my Grandmothers house until she passed in 1988 so mom took over that house. There are so many things to look through. My husband asks me when am I going treasure hunting again. There is plenty to donate as soon as I can get to it. We thankfully have good neighbors watching the house and can help us get the right people there to lease it. It won't be easy but if I can sell the other property I can keep it once things settle. She was not in a lot of debt but the bills on 3 houses plus taxes plus property taxes are going to make a big hit on my savings. The bank suggested a secured loan so I am going to look into that. For the most part I just want to pull the covers over my head and hide like a child. My mother went into CCU on a Sunday morning and by Wednesday they moved her into palliative care because infection sepsis had taken over and she got pneumonia. I went to see her Friday morning at 10 am and had just passed away. I had to tell the nurses and everyone in the family. I am going to plant a few daffodils at their grave soon. They come up early in the spring and can be mowed over. Where she is they have many rules. My father died 2 weeks before my 11th birthday and she never re married so she was my rock. Now I am just drifting around trying to get my head around losing her and my career of 30 years. I hope to find a nice low stress job or go back to school and learn a new skill. Nothing fancy just enhance the skills I have or maybe something completely different. I've turned a few jobs down because they want me to "hit the ground running" and whip me until the job is done and then toss me aside like a used tissue. I am not in any way capable of dealing with that stress on top of this new stress. It would kill me. I hope you find a better place to work. Life is to short to work for mean people.
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Your situation sounds so much like mine. She has two properties and a small tract of land. I am trying to sell the land and one of the houses. I have the houses rented and one of my tenants is a jewel. I want them to have that house so bad I wish I could give it to them. Maybe I will win the lottery and can then give it away. lol I haven't visited my Mom's grave site in a while, for fear that I will throw myself on her grave screaming how I miss her. I live with my daughter and lately I have been feeling selfish because she always has to deal with my feelings and I am not giving her the support she needs from me. She loves me so much and wants me here with her but it seems she is always dealing with me and my problems. I pray it gets better soon I want us to enjoy this time we have together. My mother and I sure did. She was so funny and it came natural. We are going to feel better. We are going to remember the good times and thank God for sending us here through them. Talk to you soon Jean.
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We are strong. We get it from our mothers. The hardest part I think is comparing ourselves to the greatest women we ever knew and being afraid we aren't? Our whole neighborhood was hit hard by the ice storm. We lost lots of tree limbs and power on our side of the street for 52 hours. I spent all day clearing our yard and hired 2 guys to help me to try and make my husband happy. It made me feel good. They yard looked like a war zone. All my husband seems to care about is material stuff at Christmas time. I have over the last half dozen years just wish it could be simpler like when my grandparents celebrated. I think my husband was spoiled as a child. lol My sister and I agree the best part was the Christmas stockings left by "Santa". We knew it was Mother after awhile but that made it that much more special. I thought by clearing the yard would make him happy. Silly me. I think I am going to sit this one out other than putting our new little fake tree up tomorrow and baking some stuff. My mother could not be around a real tree last year for the first time ever and she told me bo matter what to put that little tree up this year. Well after 52 hours of no power and clearing fallen trees all day with the help of 2 very nice hired hands I am going to do just that today. I am not against giving gifts I just think his family goes overboard with it. Call me the Grinch but I think we have what we need and should put more effort into enjoying the family.
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We haven't put the tree up yet. The grandchildren here are adults now and it is not as exciting anymore, except the reason for this season. My granddaughter that lives in another state is younger. I send her presents to her. Santa doesn't visit here anymore. I think I am going to try hard to feel the spirit, the spirit of the season. Sorry about the weather and hope that all is well. The weather here is cold and bearable but nothing like you had.
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