help

lost the love of my life 2 weeks ago today

i feel empty, lost, hopeless, shattered.......

dont see how things will ever be beter- things feel worse

cant stop replaying the last two days in my head

i feel like i should have known what was happening

all of a sudden-- he was in the hospital and gone.

his family told me not to come- i will regret that for the rest of my life.

he was my world.

 

my heart hurts knowing i will never find as wonderful a man as he was to share my life with.

 

i'm sure God hates me.  :-(

Tags: tom

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Permalink Reply by Joyce L on July 27, 2010 at 2:26pm
this system cut 1/2 of what i wrote off of this post.
just what i needed... i edited it to try to put it back.
oh well
Permalink Reply by Lisa Westgate on July 27, 2010 at 10:02pm
Nope. God doesn't hate you. You're loved.
Permalink Reply by Joyce L on July 28, 2010 at 10:44am
why are good people taken early and evil mean people get to stay around until old old age?

if he loved me- why didnt he let him live longer than 54?
Permalink Reply by Lisa Westgate on January 4, 2011 at 9:26pm

There is a reason even if we don't know what that is...good,  bad, or indifferent.  The evil people are here because they need to learn to appreciate life and love the way we have been forced to.  He did love you and that's why you had the time you were given to be touched by his life.  You're loved and he loves you still. <3

Permalink Reply by barbara perkins on July 28, 2010 at 1:06pm
JOYCE;

HELLO. I LOST MY HUSBAND IN JUNE 2010. AND I TOO FEEL LOST,ALONE,EMPTY,HOPELESS,BROKEN. I HAVE BEEN REPLAYING OUR LIVES TOGETHER OVER THE LAST 9 YEARS. AND IT'S HARD BUT IT MAKES ME SEE THE GOOD TIMES. WHAT HURTS ME THE MOST IS HIS KIDS AT I HELPOUT WHO ARE IN THEIR 30'S DONT CALL OR EMAIL AND HIS FRIENDS HAVE STOP CALLING. SO I'M HERE ON MY OWN TRYING TO HANDLE THE GREIF. I WATCHED HIM BATTLE CANCER FOR 10 LONG MONTHS WITHOUT HELP OR SUPPORT FROM THEM. BUT NOW THEY WANT EVERYTHING. AND GOD DOESNT HATE YOU THIS IS ONLY TO MAKE YOU A STRONGER PERSON. AND THE REASON I SAY THIS IN 1983 I LOST MY FIRST HUSBAND TO CANCER AND AT HELPED ME BE READY FOR THIS BATTLE AND MY MOMS BATTLE WITH HER 3 TYPE OF CANCER. ALONG WITH LOSING MY BROTHER TO CANCER IN MARCH OF THIS YEAR. YOUR RIGHT LIFE ISNT FAIR BUT HE WOULD WANT YOU TO MOVE ON AND REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES YOU HAD TOGETHER.

TIM WAS AND WILL ALWAYA WILL BE MY WORLD.
Permalink Reply by Byron Eugene Jordan on July 28, 2010 at 9:29pm
Barbara
I am sorry to hear about your loss. And it has been just a short time now for you. Sure you feel lost, alone empty and that list can go on and beyond. Your life with Tim was cut way to short that is bum part about it well kinda. Step kids are strange, and I am one. My father just passed away this pass Feb. My mom passed away in 95 from cancer. But for me I get along very well with my stepmom. She never did have kids from her first husband. And her parents are now gone. So really it is now me and her. But your husbands kids are going to pay one day for their actions toward you. At the end they will feel sorry for what they are doing now. And it could be they are only thinking of themselfs. Also to they have grief going on as well. So we all handle it in different ways.
You and I have both had a hard ride this year. Except for me I have lost my hole true family. NO brothers or sisters. And I am single no kids. So in my case its very hard and it is day by day roller coaster ride. My best fight is doing just this, helping or hearing others hurts and needs.
Keep posting on here when you can just to let it out what you feel inside. Because it maybe something that I need to hear or someone else. Because you could hit that cord that we all feel and don't how to hit it.
Permalink Reply by Tina Paparazzo on September 1, 2010 at 8:40am
Don't say that Joyce. I had a similar situation. My fiancee passed away 2 weeks ago and even though I knew he was very sick his parents didn't tell me he had only 3 to 8 weeks to live. Had I known that I would have visited more often. Now he's gone. It is very hard for me right now becasue I live in his house and everywhere I look I see my Dave. They say it takes time but I wish I could just sleep and wake up when the greiving is over.

Tina
Permalink Reply by Natasha L. on October 5, 2010 at 9:33am
My husband passed away last Monday suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 26.
Yes, the pain is crushing and it is devastating. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
Its the living with the "what ifs" right now that is the worst. What if I had "fill in the blank"...
I'm not going to pretend that I can say anything to ease your pain. But I can share with you a little of what has helped me this past week.
Your love would want you to not feel guilt, he would not want you to second guess yourself. It must hurt not going to see him, but remember him as you love to remember him. Laughing, or doing something you both loved.
Sharing your feelings and talking with others who know your pain will help too. It has helped me to know that, unfortunately, I'm not alone with this pain.
I don't know if this helps, but know that God does not hate you. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Permalink Reply by Lisa Westgate on October 22, 2013 at 11:34pm

Hope you are having moments of happiness and smiling today.  Thinking of you Joyce!

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