Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Emily on March 11, 2013 at 6:56pm

I'm so sorry about your mom, I lost my mom Dec 27,2012, she was 77. I'm 47 and it hurts every day. Please feel free to message me anytime.

Permalink Reply by Bern on March 11, 2013 at 8:02pm

Hi Billie,

I was angry at my mother when she died. Continue to release you tears..I lost my son 5months ago...and I am holly inside. He was only 20 yrs old. I don't want to say "I am sorry" cause I get tired of hearing it myself. I will say, you have a right to feel the way you feel.

Permalink Reply by Melisa C on March 12, 2013 at 7:33am

I lost mom one day after your mom died. I think it's normal to feel this bad, it's been only a couple of months. My mom was also my only parent, she used to say that she was my mom and my dad, when I was a kid. I never knew my father. We lived together and her death was sudden, I couldn't say goodbye. When I went into the room to check up on her she was not breathing, I can only wonder if I had been there a few minutes before, I could have saved her.

 I cry everyday and break down in public places, how could I not. I talk to her and hope she can listen.

 You are very blessed to have a husband and kids and your sister. You should turn to them. I know you said your husband lacks emotional support, but it seems to me that he's doing the best he can. He doesn't know exactly what you are going through, he can't really understand. His coming to check on you and kissing you and telling you to come outside is another way of saying 'I love you'.

 Our moms left and it hasn't been long, it's just going to be a long road, learning to live without them.

Permalink Reply by Sue Waxman on March 12, 2013 at 8:20am

Dear Billie,

I am so sorry about your mother and you finding her. What a heartbreak for you to survive. My mother was my only parents and we exactly like you and your mom. We share December 19th as our birthday. We spent so much time together. Christmas was our favorite holiday. We loved shopping and going to the movies every weekend. My husband left me for a "youger/skinner" woman 4 years ago. I lost my house and the business we built over our 20 years marriage. My mother got throat cancer last year and suffered horribly. She died with me holding her hands.Just as you will never ever get over finding your datling mother, I will never ever forget her taking her last breath and the life draining out of her face. A great portion of me died that day with her. Last night I wore her rob to bed. I miss her more every single day. It doesn't get "better" you just go through life doing to best you can until God allows us to die and leave this world and join HIM and our moms. I have 3 sisters will are just the most hard unloving people. I had to walk away from them. I have my Golden Retriever and have acquired 5 cats. My family now. I am completely alone in this crazy place we call earth. I struggle every single day to make sense of why I am still here. If suicide was acceptable by God I would have taken my life but I would not dishonor HIm or my mother. I have a deep faith in God. I believe that this world and this life is all about experiencing both good and bad and learning. Unfortunately we learn the most from pain and suffering. My greatest pain is the loss of my mother. She was all I had. My x husband destroyed my heart. I don't think I could ever trust or love another man. I don't date. I live paycheck to paycheck. I live one hour at a time. I can't even think about tomorrow. I am 57 years old. Never had kids. You are not alone in your loss and grief. This site is a blessing. You can say anything you want and everyone understands because we have been there. We are there. Mother's Day is VERY difficult. She is still your mother. She is just in another place. I know how much you miss her. I feel guilty also. We all do. I cry every day. You are so young to have to had lost your Mom. I am so sorry. God takes us all. It is just a matter of how and when. My friend Vrenda age 44 died last week for brain cancer. At her service I looked around and people were laughing and talking. I though after we walk out of her they will go on with their lives and Brenda is just GONE. Isn't life strange?

Why are WE the chosen to be born? I miss my best friend and mom every single second of my life. I go to work and put my day in. I am a veterinary techncican/nurse. I do my best to be the best person I can be in honor of my mother. That is my purpose. Find your faith in God. Put you entire life in Gods hands. When you do you will survive. I was never a religious person until my mother went with her Lord and I felt HIM come for her. He took her pain away. I am so greatful for that. I am here for you. Your pain and loss is to great for you to handle alone. Read about life after death. Gaining knowledge will help you survive. Your mother is in heaven and you will see her again. She is surounded by only love and greatness. She is better off there than we are here. This earth is a mess. Heaven is not. I welcome the day God says it my my time to keave this messed up world and go with HIM. Your friend Sue

 

Permalink Reply by Eliza on March 16, 2013 at 3:08pm

I am so sorry for your pain. I lost my mom to cancer this past December. Even though her death was expected, it was a horrible shock. She passed very early in the morning while we were all getting rest after holding a vigil around her bedside nightly for several nights previously. I was the one who found her. I won't ever forget finding her, either. I relate to the guilt you feel over not being able to protect your mom. I feel the same way. I was adamant about being by my mom's side when she passed, and it didn't happen that way.


The two month mark was hard for me, too. My grief counselor told me that around 2-3 months the shock starts to wear off and the new reality starts to set in.

And I totally get how hard it is to not have your mom around to talk to. I wish I had words of wisdom, or I could say that you could wave a magic want and it would all go away. What has helped me is to release my feelings when they arise and know that I have a right to feel how I feel. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me anytime.

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on March 27, 2013 at 10:00am

im so sorry, imSO sorry....that's so hard....that's right around my birthday....I feel so bad for you hun....this group is great, but don't let it get you depressed....I don't use it much as when I first used it was helpful, sometimes I think it makes it harder, but I think its good you are sharing....hun, it will get better.....im just so sorry cause I understand.....try and lift yourself up somehow....you will get thru this.....im just trying tohelp you as much as I can since I know what your going thru honey....hang in there....you can talk to me anytime, im 43 and its hard, it doesn't matter what age you are.....you sound like me, me and her talked every day too.....my heart pours out to you sweetie...hang in there....and reach out to us....we are  here :) 

Permalink Reply by Jodi Taylor on April 2, 2013 at 9:06pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm currently at 4-month mark.  I had no idea how hard it would be.  My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer in early August 2012 and brain mets August 31st.  She died December 3rd after battling that with weeks of radiation therapy along with falling and breaking her hip in October, rehab, and ultimately MRSA and E coli infection with multi-organ failure.  It just happened too fast.  I really don't believe the pain will end, but it lessens.  Almost every morning is spent thinking about her, what could have been different, what I should have picked up on, could she have lived longer if I had paid more attention to the possible signals.  The what if's drive you crazy.  I'm sure she felt "taken care of."  You had her living with you :)  I still break down for no reason at all, just when I think I'm doing "okay."  One thing I've just recently started is a journal dedicated to her memory.  I've started writing down everything I can remember of her, and it has helped just a little bit.  If you need anyone to talk to I'd be happy to listen :) Take care!

Permalink Reply by irene gomez on April 16, 2013 at 2:31am

im sorry for your loss....i too lost my mom to a massive stroke...and just like u i was very close to her...today makes it three years since i lost her and the pain will never go away it seems to get stronger each day im without her..all i want is to hear her laugh see her smile even have her yell at me...every littlr thing reminds me of her i cnt even think about her without breaking down..even tho i have a family of my own i feeel as if i have lost everything....keep ur head up just remember we will see thm again and whn we do they will never be tookin from us again...god only takes the best