Trying to figure it out

Ok, so it has been almost 2 years now since my best friend and father of my daughter passed away. I really never took the time to actually grieve because of trying to raise my daughter by myself. He wasn't the best guy around, and the majority of people who found out he passed away replied to me as "You are better off". I always just politely smiled, and when I got home, I would think to myself, how could someone have the nerve to say that to me. This was coming from close friends, relatives, and even my obstetricain. (She was an old classmate of mine, so I knew her). I wasn't able to attend the 1 day funeral because I had a C-section the day after he died. I have never discussed his death with anyone because simply, nobody wants to hear about it. I sit and cry to myself just about every night. Not just for the fact that he isn't here, but for the fact that my daughter will never have a father. I don't have any idea of how to deal with that. I cry when I see dads on tv with their little girls. It is to the point where the slightest thing makes me cry, and I am getting tired of crying. I just don't know where or who to turn to.

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Permalink Reply by Marsha "Marcy" Welch on February 1, 2010 at 9:52pm
Doesn't matter what kind of person he was. When you lose someone you care about, what other people 'think' is irrelavent. All you have is how YOU feel. So grieve. It's been a year and a half since my mom passed and everyone thinks I should be over it, and that is why I am here. Because I am FAR from over it. Losing someone is a painful thing and a long process. I am figuring this out just now, so hang in there, there are people here who will listen to you.
Permalink Reply by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on February 2, 2010 at 1:17pm
Yes, people say the darndest things don't they. I lost my brother about 9 years ago and I still think about him every day. You've come to the right place. Let your feelings out. Post some pictures. Find some friends - you will be safe here. (((((hugs))))) ~ Diana

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It was not supposed to be like this

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