I Am So Hurt Since Mom Has Passed And Went To Heaven..

 

My mom passed away in ICU on June 18th feels like yesterday.I am so sad depressed and hard to cope,

This is hardest thing in my life.I was a only child and close with my mom.

talk to her everyday.Now no phone calls only dreams.Can not believe she is gone.I am 45 she was 63.It hurt as she was trying to hang on to life..She was using a breathing mask to breath eyes closed could not talk.She was moaning for a half a day scares me to wonder if it was pain.I still see the vison in my mind and dreams..I feel i cried a waterfall so hurt inside...

I get a foggy feeling and so sad it is just hard to do anything she liked to do I feel guilty and wished I could have done more with her that last year but she was sick on and off..

I wonder if she is watching over me.This is so painful and I cry at times other times i feel numb..

ANYONE ELSE GET THIS WAY..

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by sandee love on July 2, 2012 at 10:12am

 bridge mary,  i talked to my mom all the time too. i still want to pick up the phone & it hurts more & more when i realize i cant.  my mom was 93. i am 55. i resent people who tell me that she lived so long & i should be grateful that i had her for so long.  well actually i am grateful but it doesnt take away the pain.  it never will. i know that foggy feeling. with me, it seems like my vision is cloudy.  i will never look at anything the same way anymore. the world will never be the same.  i have to believe that my mom is watching over me. & your mom is watching over you.  its impossible to think any other way cuz if i do that  would mean she is gone forever & that thought is too hard to belive.

 

Permalink Reply by BRIDGE MARY on July 3, 2012 at 4:38am

I feel exactly like you.The phone sits on side of bed mom would call and I would awake any hour.So sad no rings..I feel like i am in another world at times it is so scary and sad..Same here the world is never going to be same after mom has left.I feel something is missing all the time.It hard to do things she liked as i feel i am leaving her out.Here too I feel so alone and missing part of my heart..Thanks for your kind words Sandee...

Permalink Reply by Mary on July 2, 2012 at 11:14am

It is all normal and I truly understand your pain.  I was not an only child but very very close to my mom and I miss her dearly and often cry.  The crying is good, it is a natural part of grieving.  I often find myself picking up the phone and calling my mom as I used to to let her know of things going on.  I go visit her grave often and talk to her and still go to her house and just sit and talk to her like she was still there.  It is very very hard, but it does get better.  You just take 1 day at a time and don't let people tell you that you should be over it in a month or so, it takes years sometimes to get through the grieving process I am told.  Go to counseling if you can or talk to a friend or minister.

Permalink Reply by BRIDGE MARY on July 3, 2012 at 4:28am

I plan a group meeting at the church Thursday,I feel that may help me some.It is hard and I feel so sad and I cry myself to sleep at times.I miss the rining phone at night.Now All i have is memories I plan to make a memory box all of her.Life can be hard and this is one hard thing for me..

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