Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on May 11, 2012 at 9:43pm

Mimi I agree with you. Sometime people get freaked out because I start talking about how I miss my sister.  They end up telling you get over it, you have to move on.  It is not that simple.  I just wish I can go back into time and get to talk to my sister one more time.  I just wanted that last chat between us.  I really miss her alot. Some people just don't understand your pain.  I do the same thing, just cry myself to sleep, or cry hiding from people because they just don't understand.  People are so foolish.  I have to deal with my dad calling me in the middle of the night because he thought he saw my sister and he can't sleep.  I can't deal with my own grief, how can I help my dad.  I think I can't be that strong person everyone wants me to be.  I just can't and I can't accept she is gone. Why!!!!

Permalink Reply by kylie anne on May 12, 2012 at 8:00am

hi Mimi, i do everything you do,its true when people ask you how you are they dont really want to know as i got sick of saying just good everytime so once i said the truth they were not interested. i know most people can somehow move forward &remember the good times but to me if i think of them times it hurts me & then i think of all the times i wont have ever again..its my mums first mothers day tomorrow without my sister & i wish i didnt have to do it as i know how my mum feels &thoses days &birthdays now just remind us my sister is not here & that pain &the saddness is unbearable.like now i look at her many pictures i have of my sister & im starting to think was she ever here or was this just a dream or why did god give her to us just to take her away &in the worst way without notice to make sense of this..i miss her so much & i also hide it as people dont understand its a nightmare that i live everyday..

Permalink Reply by Mimi Giovanni on May 12, 2012 at 11:51pm

i went out with a friend yesterday and found myself just going on and on about my sister. So i took a step back and stopped. It's very hard when all i want to do is talk about her. For me when talking about she is not gone. There is still a very great big part of me that still don't believe it. My nieces and nephews mothers day what are they going through right now, watching other children in school make things for there mothers. I ask God why couldn't you just once stepped in and stop this from happening. I am at war and i mean war with myself. I am fighting to be strong and i don't feel like or want to be strong. This the worst battle I have had to fight, right now i don't know if i am winning. How do i fight when my tag team partner was so easily taken from from. The other part of my heart and soul are gone and i really can't get her back. i mean for real, she isn't coming back. Crazy as it sounds I have been waiting for the last 4mths for her to call so i fuss her out,  for this cruel joke. But no call, so i cried as my reality becomes more and more real to me. You know she died after finding out her husband cheated and got another woman pregnant. She ran out of the house crying, drove away and crashed. She died because of him. Why her and not him, i know that's mean and wrong to feel but do. i thought i call her today,lol. Nope that didn't happen. Oh gosh listen to me going on and sounding so bitter. SORRY.. I just miss her some much and need her. I play our last talk right before she left and say what could have i done to stop this. Looking at her pictures are to hard for me, i just can't. MY HEART HURTS IN AWAY THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE!!!! 

Permalink Reply by nadia on May 18, 2012 at 9:15am

Your words speak to my heart..I lost my wonderful only sister nearly a year ago... 1 year ago on 21 May...I am so lost without her... feeling so lonely ... the person who knew me best and loved me for all faults.. my soulmate.. Even my kids can not damp the pain.. I reading your posts and feel the same pain... so sorry we are here.. sometimes I think people do not understand the bond.. I feel they feel that pain is not so intense .. but I am broken.. she was my soulmate.. I too loved abroad, spoke to her the day before and next day she 'gone..travelled back on a 20 hour flight to see her.. I a had not hold her for nearly 10 months ... were on Skype on the phone and we were so looking forward to spending summer together .. its 2 weeks short of my long summer with her she was gone.. I miss her physical presence I wasn't to hug her  and kiss her... There are day I feel like digging out to get her in my arms again..I wish I could dream of her...nealry  year and only had a dream with twice.. I wish she could come to my dreams... may be my soul is just to upset and cannot see her... not aver good day for me took I am rambling.. love to all of you sisters.. 

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on May 18, 2012 at 7:43pm

I thinks these couples of days will be difficult for you. i guess people don't understand that when you have you only one sister the pain is more.  Because you grow up with that person during your childhood and in my case we were in constant communication, i just don't understand why this happen to us.  i constantly dream of her and dream that we are chatting away, but the only thing is that when we wake up i just don't remember the type of conversation we are having.  I just have the image of us hugging and laughing.  I really miss my sister so much, and i can't accept she is gone.

Permalink Reply by Mimi Giovanni on May 19, 2012 at 9:35pm

Today i feel tired, i want to just scream until there is nothing left in me to scream. My kids wont leave me alone and let me have a moment. I really need my sister right now, i just want to tell her what the crap she is doing to me. i want to tell how in the freakin world can you leave me to myself. Her and i just don't work without each other. It's like trying to play basketball without the ball, it just don't work. We are peanut butter and jelly, we work so well together. The more i see this is not going away, the more it's becoming more and more hard to feel. i just don't want to feel or think just for one day. it hurts to much. I am sitting here trying to cry quietly so i wont bother no one. People always told me Mi God is going to bless you because of this great person you are. Life was hard for so long and  than one day my life slowly started to change. I went to school, got this great job, started making money. I started having all these things cars and my own home. Just things and i thought maybe GOD did remember me. But now all these things, material things means nothing to me at all. I would give up everything with out a thought and be with nothing, just to have my sister back. i miss you Jackie so much it's killing me. in tears

Permalink Reply by Mimi Giovanni on May 19, 2012 at 9:48pm

I DON'T WANT TO GOODBYE TO MY SISTER!!!! THIS CAN'T BE IT, PLEASE GOD NO!!!11

Permalink Reply by nadia on May 20, 2012 at 12:20am

So many time I wished there was an undo button or rewind to go back in time and live over and over again time with my sister.. Sometimes people cannot understand what a great loss this is... Just like your sister my sister knew me what it feels like to be me as child teen and adult and we were to be together till old age... I never had any close friends as my sister was my best friend, my confident... I too miss her so much.... so many times I have though would it be nice to close my eyes and never wake up just to be her.. I just do not want to gee this pain to my remaining loved ones.. If anything I am now not afraid to die..

I am torn too Mimi and I can feel your pain... I wish we could undo these dreadful days... 

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on May 20, 2012 at 6:59pm

Today I wish that undo button did exist.  today i really want to talk to my sister. :'(

Permalink Reply by nadia on June 5, 2012 at 10:09am

sorry I miss this... I am having one of these days too.. many in a row now... I really want to talk to my sister too... so lonely without her...

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on June 5, 2012 at 9:00pm

I have been going through alot of personal problems and usually I would call my sister up to see what she thought about it. But now I just don't have no one to talk to and it feel like crap.

Permalink Reply by kylie anne on May 27, 2012 at 6:29pm

Hi everyone.well its been 8months since my sister melissa passed away & i still hate saying that.tomorrow we will have a meeting with the hospital finally after all this time they have done a report about what happened to her.i still wish & dream this isnt true.my life isnt the same i hate my life everything i do reminds me of her.i just want her back & i cant get passed that feeling.

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