Missing my Dear Husband

I am in my tenth month almost a year!!! I do not see any improvement.  How can you cope with the death of your husband, he was my best friend, my lover, my everything for 29 years  Today in Grief Share the article says not to do it alone, try to find a group that is one of my problems, my husband and I decided to retired and move out of USA we live in a very small community, far from everything, it was a Paradise when we were together but now it is a nightmare. Every day I beg to God to take me with him i want to be with him,

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Permalink Reply by cathy trice on March 13, 2012 at 10:44am

I know EXACTLY how you feel...it does get easier but it never goes away....I have found that being outside, looking up, and actually talking to Richard really helps....sounds so simple...but when I do this it helps me feel like I'm not so alone...it has been 3 years for me...the first year is now just a blur....I still miss him everyday....I still talk to him everyday....hang in there...remember to take "little steps"....time does have a way of healing....and know you are NOT alone....

 

Permalink Reply by mary on March 13, 2012 at 2:42pm

Everybody says that, it goes easier with time, but I feel so alone, I do go outside, and to talk to him but i think he does not listen he is not here.

Permalink Reply by mary on March 14, 2012 at 10:27am

Thank you!

Permalink Reply by Amanda Ab on March 14, 2012 at 12:06pm

hi mary. sorry for the loss of your husband. i know exactly how you feel too. it will be a year of my husband's death next month. And no improvement here either. I guess each person does grieve differently. And there is no timeline as far as when we will feel better. But cant help to wonder when it will eventually feel a bit better?

Permalink Reply by mary on March 14, 2012 at 2:54pm

Hi Amanda, i wonder that too, when Will I be "normal"again.  Next week will be ten months he left this world, He just had a minor surgery, his cause of death was a blood clot.  His sudden death left me in schock I still think he will be open the door and says   "coffee please".  All i have noe is memories, I miss him so much.

Permalink Reply by DebbieAnn on March 20, 2012 at 6:32pm

Mary, my heart and deepest sympathy go out to you. You may not have a group locally but I think you will find somekind of support and friendship here with this"Online Grief Support" if you make an effort to post/chat everyday. I joined a couple of days ago. Just reading the stories others have shared made me realize that all the feelings I have are very normal. All the questions I have are just like everyone elses. All the lonliness I have been experiencing I will always have but....I have faith and the belief that my husband would not want me to sit and be miserable. We where waiting for retirement in a few years and going to spend the last of our years in Lake Tahoe. But that was not God's plan. I am doing it alone. It has been a very hard thing to do without him here. I never thought I would be retiering alone, but I am and I will. I look forward to a new chapter because that is what my husband would want. My husband like yours, was my best friend, my lover, my everything, but most of all "my mentor". He taught me that the only one who will take care of me, is me. The only one that can make me happy, is me. His death was such a loss but I can't change that. But I can take charge of my life and make sure that our children and granchildren know how much of a wonderful person he was and how happy we were, and how happy he made me. If I can make them smile, then its all worth it. People say that with each day it gets easier....I hope not. I can't imagine going a day without thinking of him or missing him. But I know time will bring me closer to seeing him again. But unitl then I need to live.

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