You are everything, and everything is you.

I keep hearing that song phrase over and over in my head, "you are everything, and everything is you." That is exactly how I feel about my beloved husband who left this earth just over a year ago.
I wish I could put into words the total feeling of loss and longing that I feel. My family is planning a trip and including me this Christmas. I will go along and pretend to have a good time; I will smile and chat,but, all the while, the real me is in a faraway place searching for memories of my husband and his love.
The loss of love seems to be the thing I miss most; I miss my husband telling me daily that he loved me, I miss his touch, his smile, he EVERYTHING!
I try to remember what it felt like to be happy, contented and fulfilled. It seems like ages ago; I would give anything to have that feeling again, but it will never again be with me until I join my beloved again.
This ache and pain is all I have left; I feel such despair knowing that this is my future. It gets more difficult to get through each day; I pray for God's mercy and to be released from this life of agony.

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Comment by Pamela philipp on December 11, 2016 at 11:03am
Maxey I know how you feel it's been almost 15 months since my mom September 6th 2015 then my husband September 14th 2015 left and the sadness and emptiness is more intense every day ther is no pill for me that will make it better and I can't take any sleep medication because I have sleep apnea so I just exist of course I tell everyone who asks I'm fine that's a lie I'll have to live with the rest of my life because I'll never be fine I hope you can somehow get through I'm still trying to get through
Comment by bluebird on December 10, 2016 at 7:30pm

I agree completely. ((((((((hugs))))))))

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It was not supposed to be like this

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