Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Why can't I release the pain I feel..?
It's been almost eight months since my mom has been gone and I'm no where near finding peace within myself, in fact, most days I feel worse. I thought in time, I would be able to cope better, remember the memories, and move forward, but sadly this hasn't been the case. I have hit an emotional block, where nothing can get in and I can't release the pain I feel within. I'm trapped by my own feelings..I've tried to make sense of it but can't! It seems that I'm living on a rollercoaster; I'm up one minute, then down the next..am I always going to feel like this, why can't I release the pain I feel inside to help me feel better!?!
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Comment by Kathryn Eldridge on September 25, 2012 at 1:37pm
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I am glad for this!!!!
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Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 25, 2012 at 1:20pm
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Oh exactly, I don't know what I would do without her! I know I would be worse off, if I didn't have her in my life..because she is the only one I can really talk to about my mom, or anything without being judged!
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That's very good. The fact that you have one and have had one is reason why it's almost a good thing that you have a prior problem with depression. You already know your therapist and they can help you through this time. :)
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I do have a therapist that I have been seeing for five years now, thank God!
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That's awful. Point blank that's just bad. Do you have a therpist or someone to help you?
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I wish I knew why some people are like they are..her own family(mine too) has told me that I need to move on and they refuse to talk about her!
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O yes. I have not had anyone tell me that it shouldnt bother me. How messed up is that?
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Exactly, it is traumatic! People think that if they weren't murdered or such, then it shouldn't bother us, but to know how she was before, and to see her like that!!:/ I have flashbacks all the time, but it has gotten better since I have her pics everywhere..so I can remember her how she was! She was in a coma for three weeks..it really is horrible!
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Thanks. She was in the CCU on life support. The doctor said there was no hope. They removed the breathing tube and she passed within minutes. I must saying seeing her in there hooked up to all this stuff while having blood transfusions and, as I said, with the breathing tube was the hardest and will be the hardest thing I have ever saw. I still get flashbacks. She was so cold. She was in a coma towards the end. All she really did was twitch. omg. So traumatic. She was so full of life and to see her like that...Horrible.
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I'm really sorry!!!:'(
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