Today would have been my husband’s birthday.

He died 10 weeks ago. He would have been 27. We met in middle school and dated for years before getting married in July. We never even got to celebrate a month of marriage. Three weeks after the wedding we were in a car accident on our honeymoon and he died instantly. I’m still recovering from my injuries and every single day I wonder why I’m still here. In so many ways he was a better person than I am. He was only 26, he never got to work a job he was passionate about, he never got to be a father, we didn’t even get to open our wedding presents or set up the new condo we had just signed for days before the accident. I had some very serious injuries, i had to be airlifted to a hospital, and I get alternatively incredibly angry or full of depressed regret when I realize that I could have died with him. I do not want to be here. We met when we were thirteen, we had our first kiss two years later, we had always lived in the moment, but had just started thinking about the future (married, condos, kids, jobs, moving...) when it was all ripped away. so much of who I am is because of him; we negotiated who we were, what was important to us, what we wanted out of life together.
Everyone is moving on without him and it makes me sick. The first month everyone was so supportive and spoke about him all the time, but now it’s like I have this layer between me and the world. Most people seem scared to bring it up, so many people just never talk about him and I suppose they think that is what’s best. He deserves better than that. He deserves to at least be remembered and spoken about.

Views: 129

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Paul on November 9, 2017 at 6:41pm
Hello Niomi,
I wish to extend my deepest sympathies on the loss of your spouse under what must be the most heart breaking circumstances imaginable. I lost my wife on March 31 of this year after a six year battle with breast cancer. I can relate to your situation about other people being supportive at first and then avoiding bringing up anything related to your spouse. I believe some people do this because they don't know what to say because they haven't suffered such a devastating loss. Others may do it because they may say the wrong thing and get you upset. Some people avoid it because they don't want to think that it may happen to them one day. At least that has been my experience. Remember the deeper the love, the greater the grief. No one knew or loved your husband like you did.

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service