Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

That quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson is a well known idea. I'm not so sure I agree with it. When you lose someone when you are old enough to remember them it tears you apart from your very core. You remember all the bad times when you fought over stupid things, when you were upset and said things you never meant but you never apologized for. You remember all the hugs and the laughs you shared afterwards knowing that at the end of it all you love each other endlessly. The gut wrenching pain I feel makes me wish I don't remember my mother. I don't want the good times and the bad times knowing I can never fight with her again and hug her afterwards. Everyone keeps telling me the pain lessons. It's not true. I miss her more everyday.

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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
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