i hope i can find some hope to go on with others who have also loved there bueatiful sons and dauthers. i dont kow how to use this computer at all it was given me for this reason so i could talk to othrs like me i hope it works with you all it takes me a long time to type and sometimes i lose the pages i am trying so please help to not lose me if you can i really need to talk about my son about his name nathan about his wonderful sense of humor he could always make me laugh even when i was mad at him i want to talk about how i feel so damn guilty about his death that night about how i kwow in my heart if i had just said i would pick him even if it WAS 2 OCLOCK IN THE MORNIGthat he would not be gone he would still be alive and here with me today i cant possibly live with the thyought of never being to hold him in my arms or kiss him or here his jokes about me againi hope you all can find me the tears are beging to stain the keyboard so i have to go please wtite back

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Comment by Gail Richardson on September 22, 2009 at 5:07pm
Jackie - I am so sorry to learn about Nathan and want to reach through this computer screen to give you a big hug. Losing a child is the most painful experience any human being has to go through.
You are in the right place here and there are some pretty special people here who will be glad to listen to what you need to say right now. Please feel comfortable to let us know about Nathan and we will try to help you along this miserable road we find ourselves on. Gail x
Comment by Stephanie on September 22, 2009 at 3:43pm
hi jackie, im so sorry about your son. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT !! he was needed in heaven, and G-d would have taken him one way or another. its not your fault. we all feel guilty. i lost my little girl, 12 years old, last year. complicated situation, but i still think at times what i could have or couldnt have done different. stay here with us, it makes the world of difference to connect with people who KNOW your pain. when did it happen?
Comment by Dee Dee on September 21, 2009 at 11:12pm
I also lost my son. I wish I would of know how his life was changing. He was married with a 3 year old daughter and he hid his addiction to methadone pills till one week before he died. He called me the every day the week that he died. He told me he dreamed that he died. Then he had thrown up in his sleep I told him to go to his doctor. He had an appointment for the next day. I feel so guilty that I didn't go to him myself and take him to the hospital or doctor. He was 27 when he died.
My son also had a wonderful sense of humor that I loved so much Everyone just loved being around him He had so many friends there weren't enough chairs at his funeral. I miss him everyday of my life he died 1/16/09 I force myself to go on I have another son and grandchildren; my husband that I have to continue on for

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