No normal days

    8 days 7 hours and 25 minutes ago I held my daughter as they turned off the machines and she slipped away. It's kind of a blur after that. Organ donations, funeral arraignments, getting her stuff from her apartment, people calling and coming by. So many people saying "if you need anything, just call." But what can they do, really? So much sadness and anger. Through all of it, I keep getting flashes of her face and body as they brought her out of the apartment. I knew when I saw her, blue and still, that no matter what they did, she was gone. The ER doctors and nurses tried so hard, they brought her body back, but it was just to late, she had been down too long. Now I'm left with a lock a hair, her smell on her things,  not nearly enough pictures, her dog and this hollow aching pit in my soul. Inertia pushes me on, but I'm not sure what the point is. She's gone.

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Comment by Billy Jo Colt on March 16, 2018 at 5:52pm

Hi Joseph, You have a lot of emotions to go through. Your Daughters body is gone but she lives on in your memory forever. A poor consellation I hear you say. It is and it's the only one we have. I treasure my memories and always will. Your loss is at the beginning and it is the most difficult part. Not that the rest isn't difficult. It is. Share your loss with friends on here. We have one thing in common and that is grief. There are so many different types of grief and we deal with it in our own way. Sometimes we are forced to "Pull ourselves together and move on". That doesn't work and never will. We never get used to it but in time most learn to accept it. It is coming up on 5 years since my girlfriend died. It feels like yesterday. Everything is so fresh, so up to date. Sending you my friendship and a shoulder to lean on if you need one.

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