nice morning

this morning my cousin came over for a visit. we sat on the veranda and talked for 2 hours about shawn. it was nice. I tried hard to hold back my tears , some slipped out. she understands my  unbearable pain, and knows why I just don't smile any more.  then I went to see my baby, I cryed so hard  telling him about my morning. how I miss and love him so very very much. I told him I need to feel him more, to please help me. I know hes here and I know he will help me through this.  I need him to come to my dreams to call me mom again, to hear that beautiful voice again.   my heart is so filled with pain it hurts everyday. 

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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
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