Lets face it grief, as we know it is no fun. However if we change the meaning of grief, maybe we could change the feeling.

G- Stands for being grateful for our life and the time we have with our love ones living and the time we had with our love ones who have transcended.

R- Stands for resilient. We are resilient when we have faith.

I-Stands for interconnected. We are forever connected, as above so below as below so above.

E- Stands for ethereally, our thoughts and love are like waves of energy. Like a telephone line sending to each other. Invisible but real.

F- Stands forever. Forever growing, forever evolving, for everlasting love.

Changing the meaning helps me change how I feel about grief. In the  first year allowing time to mourn, and allowing yourself to cry, is important. You have to feel in order to heal. Below is for you when  you feel ready to move forward. There is no time limit, no rush, when the heart is broken. However, there is a way to have an Invisible Relationship which helps heal the hole in your heart.

Overcoming loss and beginning to live again is something we don’t plan on.  However recall whatever coping skills you have used in the past for overcoming setbacks or loss and draw upon these inner strengths once again. Taking the first step is always the hardest.

I encourage you to pay attention for many people have experienced sensing a presence, hearing a voice, feeling a touch, smelling a fragrance, telephone calls, lights going on or out, visual experiences, and more. Trust these, as you are not alone in your experience.

If you are ready to move forward this is for you.

Take time to pause for more than a few moments. Inside of you is a wealth of wisdom, joy and love, only we get to busy to fully embrace it.  We get hung up on all the things we should do, didn’t do that we forget all the things we did do. We get stuck in the past and forget to move forward. Did you know that scientists have discovered our brains have over 100 billion neurons firing in infinite patterns? What this means is our thoughts and feelings are creating patterns in our mind.  There is a way to overcome destructive emotional states and habits and replace those emotions or habits with new states of mind. You can accomplish this through changing your mind to change your brain.

We set the course of our reactions to life. We steer the ship.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

–Martin Luther King Jr.

 How to ‘evolve your brain’ is simply by changing your mind and allowing your self to break free from past patterns. Simple as it seems, changing the course of direction takes a skilled captain of the ship. Once you learn how to create neuron pathways for steering toward what you want in your life, your life moves in the right direction.  Would you like to……..

“Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.” Mark Twain

Your love ones on the other-side want you to be happy. Note I say love ones instead of loved ones, because we still love them. With the New Year, now is a great time to harness the power of your amazing brain, and make a significant change in your life by re-wiring your brain, and living fully once again.

Here are four helpful steps.

The first step: the pattern of understanding.

The New Year comes with the gift of starting over, first start by remembering what you did do last year and celebrate your successes.

Nobody knows you better then you, and nobody will ever be as hard on you as you.  So be kind to yourself. With an honest self-review reflect back on the last 12 months and ask yourself what did you gain or accomplish and what did you lose or not finish? What did you learn, and what surprised you? What challenges did you face? What or who supported you on your journey? And my favorite question what did you do last year that you liked and want to do more of? When you are in mourning life can be a blur. Looking for something good can be difficult. Yet this is a healthy start remembering the good, even if it was only ten minutes.

These self-questions felt deeply, is where you fire up your neurons to create the pattern of understanding. Like becoming an observer, allow yourself to see you with new eyes. Often in mourning we are looking with new eyes anyways. But to often we judge ourselves instead of love ourselves.  Love is the way to happiness. Love heals everything. Allow yourself plenty of time to pause and reflect. Then take a pen and paper and write what your observations were in reflecting on these questions.

“To truly hear you must quiet the mind.”

–Unknown

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Soren Kierkegaard, Danish Philosopher

The second step: the patterns in your wheel of life.

We all create many neuron patterns in our wheel of life, the areas which are most important to us. Draw a large circle, and then divide it like the spokes of a wheel. In each spoke list the areas, which are the most meaningful to you and write them in whichever order you choose.  These categories can be things such as: Physical Health, Your Family
, Happiness, Love, Your Spiritual Life, Your Finances
, Your Career, Travel, Creativity, to just name a few.  How many areas are up to you. These areas are the very places in which you are firing infinite patters into creation.

Moving forward is seeing the future.

The third step: belief and commitment.

All around us beauty shines in nature.  We live in a magnificent universe. If we were to shine as beautifully and be magnificent in our own way, what would we do differently? Can we be strong enough to discipline ourselves in re-programming our brain by training our thoughts? Can we play big and give up playing small? 
Can we forgive and move on? Can we trust the process of life and take a step?

Your mind is creating your life. You see there is a relationship between your mind and your life. 
Your mind is your brain in action. When you change your mind, you change your brain.

Research mind-body connection on the Internet, the more you read the more you create pathways for belief.  Hire a coach skilled in brain science. They say, “You have to have a dream to have a dream come true”. Yet success depends on your backbone not your wishbone. To have a dream come true takes focused commitment. Having a coach is excellent for staying on course.

Whenever we doubt our dreams, we must pause and remember our success. No matter how large or small.

Step four:  Writing down what you want in 2011

Many great achievers in life attest to the power of putting their goals into writing. Writing is like highlighting a feeling. It is often the first step in healing. It can help release your feelings or help create your dreams. Now under each area in your wheel of life, write what you want to create in your new year. Be specific, detailed, and activate your minds imagination to really feel, see and even hear how it is.

Then paint, write, dance, sing, or sketch what you will see, hear, feel, smell, and taste as a result of reaching your goals. Like an actor on stage really feeling his new role. The more you involve your senses, the more you will activate your brain. Through allowing the power of your mind to create vivid, life-like, and compelling images, sounds, and feelings of what you want, you fire brain patterns in to action. Most of my clients have found my walking to own it technique extremely beneficial.

Here is another Mark Twain quote…

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Remember every time you think a thought or feel an emotion, the brain sends chemicals throughout the body that reproduces that feeling. Often giving you a physical reaction, from a cumulative neuron forming a pattern. For every action there is a reaction, every repeated thought creates repeated feelings.

Habits can be hard to see and break. We often need professional assistance. Most of us have been way too hard on ourselves, and any prolonged repetition of self-limiting thoughts and feelings can become habitual producing mindsets. Thus attracting negative experiences.

For years I worked as a Biofeedback Therapist.  Seeing how the mind controls the body on a screen right in front of you, made many doubters into true believers.

For help with changing your brain, I invite you to join my New Years Program “Erase And Replace” For four weeks you will receive one on one coaching to Change Your Brain to Change Your Life. email coachlouise@mac.com

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

~ Ben Sweetland