My parents were in a Managed Care Program where they went to a program during the day and their medical care was included.  The patient bill of rights stated that they were still to be given the proper specialist and emergency care.  

My dad suffered a stroke on March 22, 2011.  He was taken to the ER and the doctor from the above program immediately called me (before I could even make it to the hospital!) and told me that he was going to be transferred to a nursing home so they could start him on rehab right away.  I was shocked!  He needed a hospital and I could not understand why this doctor would transfer him.  I fought her on this and demanded he be kept in the hospital.  I got a call the very next morning saying that his transport to the nursing home had already been arranged and that he needed to start rehab.  My dad passed a few days later in that nursing home and was never given any rehab.  Recently, I was able to get his records from the ER visit for the stroke and discovered that he never entered the ICU in the less than 24 hours he was there nor was he EVER seen by any kind of a specialist at all.  This is mind boggling to me.  A stroke victim who we are told had a big stroke and will need immediate rehab yet is put into the hands of CNA's.  He never saw any kind of doctor after the first 36 hours.  He was cared for by aids.  We were never told that my dad was never expected to survive until 2 days before he passed.  He passed on the 7th day.  

My mom's story is even worse.  She had started accumulating extreme amounts of fluid in her abdomen and extremities causing problems with breathing and such.  We asked many times to have her seen by a specialist.  This was denied her.  Finally, I went into the program one morning and told them I was putting her in my car and taking her across the street to the hospital.  The doctor of the program told me that I would be subjecting my mother to grave danger from infection if I did that.  The doctor said she would put her in the nursing home for 7-10 days and treat her for the fluids.  The next day I went in to find my mom laying in a bed having not been seen by that or any doctor and barely able to breath.  I called 911 and asked that she be transported to the hospital.  The same doctor (she is also the medical director of this nursing home) came in and sent the EMS crew away stating that she did not need the hospital.  She then started IV Lasix treatment on my mother and my mother lost 45-50 lbs in approx a 2-3 day period.  This caused my mother's electrolytes to crash and she went into liver and kidney failure.  She began having horrible hallucinations and also came down with an infection from the catheter.  My mother never recovered from the overdose of Lasix and passed away in the nursing home.  

I have since requested through subpoenas that both their medical records be released.  The doctor lawyered up and they have blocked the release of their records.  There is no doubt in my mind that the reason both of my parents were treated by this one doctor and done so in a nursing home rather than to be treated by specialists and in the hospital is because the program got a monthly stipend per patient and all of their medical expenses were paid out of that stipend.  In other words, my parents well being and right to decent medical care were put below the profits of this program.  My parents had to PAY for this program so it was not as though it was a "freebie".  

I'm so angry that I have not yet allowed myself to feel the grief that a person should normally go through.  I sat holding my mother and talking to her as she passed away.  I've shed tears but mostly I dont allow the tears.  I've shut myself off from who I was.  I go to work and act as though nothing happened but I get home alone at night and I "think" and "think".  I'm totally alone in the world for the most part.  My two daughters live in other areas of the country with their husbands and the only person who lives anywhere near me is my ex husband (who divorced me during the time my parents started needing my help a couple of years ago after 29 years of marriage).  

I'm not sure how to get out of this "place" I am in.  I miss them both but the loss of my mother has impacted me so deeply that I wish I could let it out and grieve openly.  But I cant.  Others say things like "now it is time for you to do all the things you have always wanted to do" etc.  The truth is, I just dont know how.  First there was the loss of my brother, then both parents going down in health, then the discovery of my husband's affair and 5 years later our divorce, both my children growing up and going off to college, getting married, and moving to other areas.  I've never felt so alone in my entire life.