Lost in the loss

I am so very new to this kind of communication.                 It seems easier than to see people - in person that is.      Deal with  "the face". Oh, I am sooo sorry, The standard greeting it seems.  I know that they are trying to be kind... suppotive...but really !  

My faith is strong - thank goodness - I do belive, and hold as truth,  that everything happens just as it should....              even if I don't like it. 

 It's still hard.. . . so very hard !

There are those times in the day that I try to get something done,  it just falls all apart . . .  and I feel so very lost. To think I will never be that amazing to anyone else ever again. That there is no one at home <> besides the dog <> who will be glad to see me  at the end of the day.  Be there to share. Laugh with, cry with , hug. No one to share the "special" secrets. There is no one else that understands the "private" jokes.

This is getting to be almost too much. The multiple loss in the last few years is almost beyond being able to handle. I am told how strong I am.

I don't want to be

I hate having to be

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Comment by Lee on November 27, 2012 at 7:03pm

Gina - I am so sorry for your loss. I know your post is older but I am new to this stuff too and I needed to connect with people who understand.

When you wrote, "I will never be that amazing to anyone else ever again" well that hit home for me. Today my stepson was texting throughout the day and he said, "Dad always talked about you and the word amazing was always how he described you." The man thought I was amazing. Together we were pretty terrific people - now without him I feel ordinary and invisible.

I am told as well about how strong I am - really? because everyday I think I am one step from crazy.

Hang on to your faith Gina - it really is what gets us through.

Comment by Pamela Manning on November 1, 2012 at 11:25am
I sure know how you feel. Sorry for your loss. In my husbands eyes I was his queen. Now I am no ones queen. My husband was so good to me. I miss his hugs, his gentle touch. Sometimes we just sat in silence and never spoke a word but he was there. I miss him dearly. I do know how you feel believe me I do.

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It was not supposed to be like this

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