my stpry began when i first met brenda....i totally fell in love with her.before we started a relationship she told me she had chronic hep c...i didnt care i still went on with my relationship a journey of love caring children one testing positive for this disease chronic hep c..brenda and i were devastated to say the least...well of course we wanted the best care for her so we brought her to childrens hospital in penna.he was a great doctor till 3 years later he informed us he was leaving the hospital to go into another scientific field of sciece...my daughter was totally upset and didnt like no other replacements...so we kind of let things go as my wife continued to get worse and worse...the disease took total control of her body mind and soul.....i was very aggressive to help in some way so i knew a good friend who knew the head directer of liver transplant at nyu hospital in new york..i was so happy and so was my wife .a liver transplant is very detailed i almost lost her to the very minute a liver arrived and she went through the grulling surgery...it took many hours and i waited to here from the doctors that everything went well and it did.thia was in 2003. in 2005 her body started to regect her new liver and this is when the madness and trouble started. they put her on so many medications for the rejection and my wife turned into a monster.....she was angry and upset and totally went into an isolation....as far as our relationship i tried to hang in there to the best of my ability...till she stated to mentally abuse me and my children and everyone else...you see she never wanted to go through another transplant and she knew that at any time her liver would start to fail...so i had to leave the home for awhile to get away and not face the torture not realizing i hurt my kids at the same time......for me i went into a total angry state...asking god why me and why her so i landed up drinking and doing all kinds of drugs to bury the hurt and guilt of course we all know this didnt work i landed up recieving two dwi"s my second one was my worst i just finished visiting my wife at n.y.u and i was totally exhasted with dealing with my children getting up early making them lunch,cleaning the house doing laundry making dinner helping the kids with homework ect......by thw way i have this disease also and it stated to get worse for me...well anyway that night my sisterinlaw asked if i would go to dinner with her and sais sure but i had two drinks which happened to be mudslides and the last thing i remember i dropped my sisterinlaw at the train station and that was it the next thing i rememberdi was in a total blackout fromn.y.c to the back roads of new jersey....well what happenned was horrific i landed up hitting a woman head on going 55 miles per hour then bouncing off her and hit another car..well the lady i hit worked for the sherriffs dept.of monmouth count and the other guy was a co at the monmouth jail...my luck i actually fell asleep at the wheel and because i had those 2 drinks..they gave me the dwi..and the both people who i hit worked for the jail system so the procecuter wanted to throw the book at me...never the less i was found guilty of all kinds of charges the serious one was the assault by auto which bought me a sentence of four and a half years in prison...thank god i got off with 1 year in the county jail serving approximately 8 months then came out on parole...well enough of me my daughter didnt want anything to do with me ...and my wifes family didnt want to have anything to do with me...so when i got out i stayed with some people first till i got a call from my wife to come hometo say the least it was pure hell..my daughter never talked to me but my son did which was a big relief.i had to come home and gain the trust with my famil and it was very hard for me my wife lost so much weight and all i wanted to do is to help her with everything so things got alittle better i got caught  driving on the revoke list and the police pulled me over with my daughter in the front seat..they landed up putting the cuffs on me again..i come to find out i had a warrant in jackson twp..which i paid ..from this point on it was pure hell.my wife knew she hadnt had much time left and i waited hand and foot on her i was doing everything for the family without a licence..but i did it..health wise for my wife staeted to deteriate and i started to go into a deep deppression but do what i had to do...well to make a long story i lost my wife in jan of2010....it wasnt easy after that i really just stayed in my room and cried and cried ...i coulnt stop i needed help but didnt know where to go. well today things are a little better but not the best like you want it..this cxoming january 2012 will be 2 years and it feels like yesterday..i tryed dating ....long term relationships ect...nothing worked for me i just wanted my wife back .i went back to church which was a great help...but ..it wasnt over yet..one day my daughters girlfriends slept over  because they were going down the shore for the day....i have a chronic back condition and made a phonecall to get some painkillers and the last thing i remembered  i was in an ambulance..you see if it wasnt for my daughter who found me unconcious on the dining room floor i would of died i didnt realize it but im  landed up getting 4 of these pills which almost stopped my heart they coulndnt find a pulse so i landed up in the critical care unit at centre state and didnt wake up for 2 days again god pulled me up..my bother who was pacing the floors said i overdosed on tranqilizers..he told me this is it your last chance of life is to go to a christian rehab called u-turn for christ and i totally agreed it was the upmost harrowing experience i ever had in my life...u see there was no medicine to ween off the pills i was on so it was jesus christ who took control of my life and after two weeks in greenville ,tennesse i wanted to get the heck out of there but my overseer said your brother is on the phone he wants to talk to me and he reminded me of the commitment i made to do the 60 days for not only me but my children also and he reminded me of jesus who spent 40 days and 40 nights in the desert...how did he   survive?when i got off the phone with my brother i had no choice but to be obedient in all things the lord wanted me to do....and that gave me the drive to complete my stay in tennessee for about six and a half weeks...it still wasnt over yet one day it had to be 110 degrees and i went on a mission to help an old man with tornado relief..well everything i lifted had to weigh on an average of 70 pounds except fot these tremendes treee logs i had to pick them up and roll themm down a hill. anyway i was  so happy we finished but when i got back to the ranch i was in total pain in my chest i not only have conjestive heartfailer but also a hiatle hernia so my leader asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital and i said yes.. so he went to the office and came back 15 miutes later only to tell me bobby tom told me for you to pack my bags..i said what why?he said he didnt ask so i said i wanted to ask so i went to the office and he said to go shower and pack up you are going home.i thought i did something wrong but tom said no my brother sent a greyhond bus ticket back to new jersey and tom said dont ask questions you are going home.well it was a long trip but i was saddened that i left tennesse because i wanted to finish the program and graduate.well when i finally got to new jersey my brother met me at the bus station and said you have to finish your time here in freehold and old bridge calvary chapel..i didnt ask anythinf else i stayed obedient and followed the plan.needlees to say that sunday i was at the service and all of a sudden i see my children who were openly crying on my shoulders telling me they are so happy im home..to make a long story short that following sunday my directer said to go into the prayer room where all my buddies at u-turn were ther my closest friends were thier and on top of it all my two children sat on each side of me...well the thusday before the directer kevin asked me that i was supposed to go to a concert with my brother  to see jouney foreighner and night ranger this was my graduation day august 24 and i said yes we supposed to go but kevin said no way and my reaction was thats ok this is more impotant to me that i finish this program...well he totally got blown away and saw where my heart really was so  that sunday with all those people he told my story and told them where my heart was trully at and he turned to me and said bobby its time for you to go home....at that moment my kids busted out crying along with everyone else...so here i am its november18,2011 aqnd i feel so very grateful that i went through the pain and anguish todfay my kids love me and i am still connected with the u-turn for christ ministry ...god is so awesome and loving and full of mercy...if anyone would like to speak to me my cell number is 732-637-2257or ill see you at cavary chapel  old bridge.....