Living with this hole in my heart

 

My husband found out 1 year ago that he had colon cancer and it had gone to his liver. We went to the best doctors and he made it through the first big round of chemo in pretty good shape. Then it seemed as though everything they tried went downhill fast. He passed away on 9-30-2011. he wanted to die at home and I honored that request. When he passed away I was bweside him holding his hand. I am so glad that I was with him.  He had been my soul for the last 30 years. As long as I stay busy during the day I can cope, but when evening comes I cry my eyes out I miss him so much. I know they say it takes time. But I wonder.

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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
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