just dont care anymore

today my sister came by to drop off some cake, to celebrate shes cancer free, I could not say anything because I just stopped careing. I wish it was me, I wish I was dieing, that would make me happy, knowing I would see my shawn again. I could hold him so tight. I would hear  MOM again, the most beautiful word in the world , its so hard to breath, to sleep to go on. my tears still fall all the time, to feel so alone and to feel no one cares anymore.its just not worth going through life without the love of my life my son, my baby, my shawn. so much pain .   

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Comment by Norma on February 3, 2015 at 7:17pm

Hi kim, I feel the same way. I lost my first and only daughter ...She was the most beautiful being I ever meet.I feel your pain trust and me and here if you need to vent

Comment by bluebird on February 3, 2015 at 7:13pm

I understand that.  My brother-in-law's father died a couple of days ago.  His death doesn't affect me directly -- he was a nice enough guy, but I barely knew him and had no emotional connection to him.  Mostly I just feel badly for my BIL and my sister.

Anyway, I envy him -- either he's in the afterlife, or at least he no longer feels pain. I would gladly have given him whatever time I'm still supposed to have, so that he could live and watch his grandchildren grow up.

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