its very confusing

I keep reading grief support sites intro . I suppose that what you do join a grief support group. I didn,t realize what a screwed up life I had untile my wife died.Hows that possible I mean she would have recovered got out of the hosp and we would have been back in the same"bipolar life" Me with my compulsions. So she died umm now the grief is really setting in.Even with welbutin as a chaser.OMG! 30 minutes and my relief shows up. Iam off the next shift.Have to go for a medical procedure. What a horrible twist of fate me living and her dying.After all how many times could I have sucked down some vodka and hopped in our 1998 plymouth voyager untile I killed someone in a wreck or got tossed in jail.So I cann,t even come close to saying God spared me.Driving while under the influence was a very bad escape when she tossed me out. I never did a dam thing to change this in 35 yrs.

 

So here Iam spinning out of control.Her presence is strong I was such a loner for 35 yrs when married to her I don,t even know how to live on my own or how to live.Its a double slap in the face.Her death and my inability to cope . How funny ha ha 

I vented

 

Dave

 

 

 

Views: 35

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by David H on August 15, 2012 at 1:41pm

thanks for your comment its very comforting

Comment by anna l. on August 14, 2012 at 9:22pm

David it really is very hard to learn how to be one when for over 30 years we were part of a twosome. Tom was my best friend and I didnt need many other friends so now he is gone "our" friends either feel uncomfortable around me or I feel uncomfortable around them so I avoid them.  I know Im spending too much time alone but I dont know how to fill the void yet.  I hope you find some peace and a path that leads you to a better place in your life.  I guess I hope that for all of us here.

 

Groups

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Welcome Them!
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Welcome Them!
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Welcome Them!
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
1 Comment

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service