It's been two months without my mom and I miss her so much..

Hello everyone I am new at this. So please bear with me. My mother passed away on April 20, 2010. This was sudden and unexpected. She was at work when she had a brain hemorrhage on April 17, 2010. She was 61 years old and so full of life. She was a real estate agent (she like to make dream homes come true). In fact I remember that she had called me that morning to tell me that she was signing a contract that afternoon and to not to call her but to meet her for dinner at my aunts restaurant. Then my brother called me and told me to get to the hospital because something had happened to her and that he didn't know. Within 3 minutes of that call my aunt called me as well and told me the samething. Here I was thinking that maybe her blood sugar was up or down that she passed out. I was worried, but I was expecting to see her ok. And to tell me to get her the hell out of there. I had no clue to what was waiting for me when I got there. The look on my brother face told me and I lost it. I broke down and demand to see her. See my grandmother died in 2006 of the samething. The moment I saw her I knew deep in my heart that she was going to die. I prayed for a miracle. She was in the hospital for 3 days. I don't remember much of that time because I was so worried to what was happening with her. I don't know if she was in pain or if she heard anything that my brother or I said to her. About how much we loved her. She was the most important person in our lives. We depened on her because she was so strong. She was MOM. She loved her family, especially me and my brother. I am 36 years old and I lived with her after my divorce. She was my bestfriend, we used to talk to eachother over the phone at least 3 times a day or more over anything. That's how we were. I guess you can say I miss talking to her and listening to her advise. Or maybe just listening her talk about how her day was going. I even miss her yelling at me because my dog did something to make her mad. I miss her sense of humor, her laugh, her voice. I feel so lost without her. My family and friends say that time with help. Will it??

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Comment by Stephanie on July 3, 2010 at 3:37pm
dear angelica, my name is jan, l lost my 12 year old daughter on 24 April 2008.
i am SO SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. i
i just want you to know that there are many of us who know your pain, the pain of losing someone so very close, the HUGE HOLE in our lives. yes, the pain WILL ease, i PROMISE you.
it is a process, it is hard. i would say the only way to get through it is to talk and talk and talk about it. to me, to others like us, and to your loved ones.
i know this time is so very hard. i can assure you that right now you are still in shock, and our brains cant comprehend such a loss so quickly. your brain needs time to adjust to this most enormous change in your life, and it is very very painful. Keep your hope up in life. even if you dont know it, there are LOTS of people who need you, and it sounds like your brother might need you the most right now?
write again, and pray to G-d for strength. i wish you strength. write letters to your mom. she WILL hear your heart. keep them, maybe file them. or start a diary to her.
or start something in her name. it will help SO much.
lots of love, jan x x x

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