impact statement

Another victum impact. My mother was stabbed to death april 11,1989. He knocked on her door said he had a sick child and was locked out of his apartment. he came in pulled a knife out my mother was heard saying take what you wantbut please don't hurt me. he slashed her face multiple defensive wounds. He stopped and ate had a cigarette. back then dna was real new so the case got shoved in a box. the law now saysall felonies must give a dna sample. They found the guy. For the next year everytime he was in court we were there. when he finally pled guilty he took a blind plea. My sister and I did victum impact. We faced the man who killed her and told him about our lose. he was sentnced to 60 years. he had no remorse kept his head on the table all through it. was a 20 year old case. Now i am doing another one for my son.  what life is without him. I have alot of anxiety over this and alot of anger too. At this point I want to see him handcuffed and led to jail. I feel really bad for his mom not only did she lose a daughter to a drunk driver she now has to see her son taken out in handcuffs. what a selfish person she raised.  in 2009 My oldest son died crossing a street on his bicycle when he got hit. alot of sadness. the 28th is the day I get to tell him what he has done to so many people. His twin brother will thankfully not be there. I was told i was selfish and self centered since derek passed. greif and mourning are personal. miss my boys. I know i am a strong woman but this is testing my limits. I think prayer is what is most needed. lets pray the kid learns something from this. he crushed a time released drug and got behind the wheel of a car and slammed into that tractor. bill and derek i miss you so much i need god to give me the strength to get through this

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Comment by Amanda Ab on January 11, 2013 at 8:53pm

Hi susan. I am deeply sorry for your looses in such tragic ways.

If i may share my story with you. My husband was shot and kill by a complete stranger over an argument for a parking space. This was on April 28, 2011. My life was forever forever changed since I got that knock on my door with homicide detectives. My son was just 19 months old at the time. It took more than 1 year for his killer to be found and arrested. He has been in jail since June 2012. My husband's family and my family attended his preliminary hearing this past november, 2012. We are hopeful we may get a Trial by the end of this year.

I think of that day when I will get to see him front to face everyday. I think if he has or will have remorse for what he caused my family?. I really dont know. Although I want that day to come and say all I have to say but I also feel vulnerable of my reaction to seeing the 1 person who has ruined my life. I too pray God to continue giving strenght until that day comes.

I am keeping a journal of all of my feelings, breakdowns, and accomplishments my son has done and that my husband is missing out of. So, when my impact statement comes, I may go back and say all that I have gone through in all this time.

Please feel free to write to me. Take Care

Comment by anna l. on January 6, 2013 at 10:05pm

So sorry for all you have been through.  If people think you are selfish or whatever, tell them you are thankful they have not walked in your shoes because you would not wish that on the worst person in the world, but until they do, dont judge you!!!  How dare people judge others that way!  May you find some peace when this trial is over.  Hugs.

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