I will never be the same

If I begin to dance
does it mean I am too alive?
If I sing again
Does it mean I have forgotten you are gone?
If I laugh out loud
does it mean I have forgotten
You are forever silent?

If a day goes by
without a tear
is your memory fading?
If your name
is not spoken
does it mean you never were?

If my heart is light for an instant
does it mean I mourn you less?
And If I should get through a day
without the image of your last moments
does it mean I forget your suffering?

If you are dead
can I believe and live
and ever be the same again?

And if I am never to be the same again...
will it mean
that you have left me with the gift of
being more not less because of you?

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Comment by Jackie cooke on May 13, 2017 at 4:04am
Loneliness, emptiness, silence, that's my life now, 9 weeks today, 9 weeks since I died with her. It's 10 am, and in have been sat here crying since 6. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to talk to anyone, or see anyone, there's nothing left to say anyway.i just want to rewind my life, or maybe fast forward it. I'm sick of being stuck in this pain and misery and grief. There is no way out for me
Comment by Maxey on May 13, 2017 at 2:34am
I just wish I could feel any of these things for a while. The loneliness is like some thing is wrapping itself around me. It is an enemy I cannot seem to fight; it is winning. I could hear the silence, now I am beginning to think I can actually feel it tightening around my soul. I can go out, laugh a bit, be with friends, and enjoy some music, but, then, I return home to the emptiness. Yes, I am more because of my wonderful husband, but, the loss just leaves me not caring about anything. I am now LESS because he is gone.
Comment by dream moon JO B on May 7, 2017 at 5:21pm

i no i noy me im not i wz ok in 20122 2011 not a rec or damgd stok u sea on shelf dnt by damgs cuds hrf [prise u cud say 

dad died 2012 so mush shit sisne thn nw y my moms ill dem/alz 

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