i gave in again.

everyone said to go see my sister when she got home, so I thought I would give in and go.  shes in a lot of pain and I felt so bad for her, it was a very big surgery,  and to my surprise the beautiful picture of my son shawn that I gave her was no where to be found. I felt hurt, mad and I have had enough. so I asked her where is shawns picture. she said oh its around here some where. I held back my tears  and the anger I was feeling.  how could my sister do this to me, she has pictures all over the place but not my only child my shawn. its like I keep letting her slap me in the face over and over again. why does she do this, and telling me I need help. dam I just wish family would leave me alone, I want to be with shawn, im tired of hurting tired of being so alone.

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Comment by Lost & Alone on January 17, 2015 at 11:47pm

I am so sorry that your sister is hurting you, and does not seem to care or understand. No one can know for sure but I think your sister was very close to shawn and does not know how to handle it so she denies it. I am sorry that both of your sisters do not try to help you, I have two sisters that try to help me to death. (Some times that is worse) I am glad to hear that your husband is trying to help you in any way he can. He faced your family and stood up for you and  he sounds wonderful and very strong.

I am sorry to say that giving in to your sister to get her love back is not the thing to do, I know that family is family and things that shouldn't be between family is, any way... But you sound like a loving and giving woman, and if your sister can not see this or understand this then you should not give anything else to her... The love and understanding and support that you need sound like it would benifit you better if  you gave it to  your husband, he seems to be the only one that knows where you are and what you are going through, and he would be the one to help sooth your hurt... noting can heal it, but maby he can sooth it somewhat for you .

Let your sisters go, and I do not say this lightly I have 8 Sisters and 8 Brothers and for one thing or another I have had to give up on 5 of them... I could not let them use me up and have nothing left for my family.. Don't let your family use you either.

 I grieved the lost of my family but over time I have learned that I am better off with out them I am polite when I see them, but that is it..

It is a shame that we have to do this in our time of grief, but some times I think it is best.

I hope you start to feel some peace, I know that Shawn would not wish this on you, but I know that some times we can't help ourselves..

Lots of Love Hugs and Well Wishes

God Bless

Comment by Lost & Alone on January 11, 2015 at 11:18pm

I was wondering if she thinks that she may be hurting you if she displayes shawn's picture, since you said you did not say anything to her, can she believe that she is protecting you by not showing shawn's picture when you come over?  Maby you should tell her that she is hurting you not helping you ..

God bless

Praying for you

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