everyday it seems to hurt more to breathe, I miss shawn so very much, I still wait for him to come home, when the phone rings I pray its him. I know my baby will never leave me, but we have never been apart this long. my heart hurts so bad. I ask why he took my only child, why not me. I wait for signs, I know I have had some but I want so much more.  I hear people and family saying MOM, and I cry so hard wishing I could hear it to. I just want to be with him, hold him, hear him say I love you mom. touch him again. I feel so dead, alone, empty, I need my son, the love of my life, my son    

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Comment by Jesse's Mom on January 16, 2015 at 9:50am

I feel the same...it is a hard hard time...so many dreams at night of him, of wishing I was not here...I do not get much sleep...wishing you gentleness for today...

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It was not supposed to be like this

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