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Comment by Babs on September 10, 2011 at 5:54am

Kandi, your pastors wife sending you a message saying hi after a year is just awful, but unfortunately i can imagine, wish I couldn't though. So sorry that it has caused a problem in your marriage on top of everything else. You really need his support at the moment. Has your husband been supportive otherwise? thats so hard if your husband dosen't see or understand that the church have not been any support to you at such a painful time. Is your new church more supportive? I can totally understand your feelings of anger for them, I feel that too, but then feel bad for it as i know that as a christian I should be trying to forgive them, it hurts so much though when people let you down so badly in your hour of need. My best freind who was like a sister to me who goes to my church from a week or so after losing steve has not wanted to be anywhere near me, she never contacts me now, she admitted she couldn't handle my pain, but I can't get away from it, sometimes i can kind of understand that it must be hard to see someone you love in pain but then i think I just couldn't do it to someone else, i couldn't just walk away and leave someone on thier own in thier pain so how could she? I wonder how many other people have not been supported by their church when bereaved, its so sad, and am sure saddens God too, I guess it shows that we really still have a long way to go in being christlike (including myself in that of course) I hope christ returns soon! Lots of love and hugs, Babs

Comment by Kandi Broussard on September 9, 2011 at 4:58pm

I cannot believe that your church family did the same thing.  I have heard that comment, as well.  At first, I just put on my fake hapy face and continued to go to "my" church.  But then, one day, I was like OMG!  How dare they???!!!  I am not going to a "fellowship" where I get NO SUPPORT.  I started attending a different church without seeking God about this decision.  I did it because I was so discouraged by each and every person there.  I don't feel bad about it either.  The really bad thing is that my husband and my pastor were really good friends so it seemed to me that my husband was always sticking up for him.  That has caused trouble in our marriage.  My pastor's wife did finally send me a message saying " Hi Kandi" via facebook one year and one week after my mom was killed.  Can u imagine???  I'm at the point of almost hate for all of them.  If Christ returns tomorrow he is going to be soooo upset with me.  What do I do??

Comment by Babs on September 9, 2011 at 4:02pm

Kandi, yes thats exactly how i feel, I am so sorry that you have experienced the same. A lot of people say to me the church must be a good support for you, but the truth is they are not. I know that God is not like that, but have found it so hard to worship. I have been really disillusioned with my church at the lack of support, I feel like you I could not imagine leaving someone to suffer so much pain on their own, maybe thats because we know what it feels like. Maybe when I am strong enough and able to go back to church I will try and talk to them and see about setting up some kind of support group for the bereaved, its really bad that at such a difficult time there is no suppport from Gods people, who should be showing Gods love. As i havn't felt supported I havn't been able to face going to church where I usually draw strength from. Many hugs Kandi, Babs

Comment by Kandi Broussard on September 9, 2011 at 3:35pm

Oh my gosh!!  yes, grief has affected my faith unbelievably!!  I am not mad at God but I have a difficult time really worshipping the Lord now.  I also have real trouble with people who are supposed to be "Christians" that have not even spoke to me since my mom was murderered.  How can you let a brother or sister in Christ go through this horrible time without even calling them?  Kn owingf how hard it is to deal with the loss of a loved via murder... I would NEVER let anyone else hurt like this without me calling them or something.  It is soooooo heartbreaking and frustrating!!

Comment by Babs on August 24, 2011 at 3:23am

Will be thinking of you on the 10th sep, The 10th of Sep is my new birthday too!!! Its the day I gave my life to the lord. Hugs. Babs

Comment by coachlouise on August 23, 2011 at 4:10pm

Thank you,for asking Sept. 10 is his new birthday.

Comment by Babs on August 23, 2011 at 4:22am

Thanks for the link coach louise, I guess there is also UCB radio. Yes I think there is a fear element in people avoiding those who are grieving. I am glad that through all of your pain your relationship with God is now stronger and that he is able to use your gift to reach out and help others. I started a website for disenfranchised grievers, I guess it helps to help others not to have to go down the road of grieving alone. Guess maybe thats a gift from God. Thank you for helping to reach out to people in pain, Am here for you too, when is your sons anniversary? Babs

Comment by coachlouise on August 22, 2011 at 2:39pm

http://youtu.be/lcPhwhgCywk sorry the first link did not work, try this one.

Comment by coachlouise on August 22, 2011 at 2:37pm

http://youtu.be/lcPhwhgCywk

Church can be right here, song just for you

Comment by coachlouise on August 22, 2011 at 2:29pm

Just to let all of you know, I too questioned my faith, and found how much people do not understand, maybe because they are afraid if they get to close it will happen to them. My heart goes out to all of you, and I send you love everyday in my prayers. My faith has altered, expanded, and now I feel closer than ever before. 

It will soon be four years for me, and yes I still miss his physical presence, but my new relationship with him has brought me many gifts, and one  way that I now serve is through supporting this site. 

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