Iam starting to come back here as scatter brained as Iam, I was gone for a while. Iam a widower truth be told. Its a long story ,your thinking long story about being a widower.? Ill try to explain it in another blog Iam working on.we went for 35r yrs she ran the show.We loved each but not in a hugging kissing way. What does that have to with it.?

 I carried on a desentsized sort of duties  as a husband , Iam  thinking now I was emotionally ill equiped to handle a realationship much less a marriage I was awful in a first marriage.

Fast forward , After she passed away,a condition she had went terribly wrong and the good doctors of the Hospital at St davids Hosp South in Austin caused her to get so bad  in treating her I terminated her life support .Did I reach the limit of my endurance ? I left the hosp after she passed away and drive around reached our house and bussiness as usual ( huge amount of denial) did I get down on my knees and cry No. I went to work and buried my grief.

 

I retired early ,bad knees. I grieve, things remind of her and I go thru remorse it hits you in face and accept and move on. It was me and her when she was alive.

As a widower and the marraige I went thru I have no real survival skills but little by little I pulling my self up. I fight loss of appetite ,and other various problems.

I believe after reading blogs and grieving research it will take years Iam not rushing it Right now Iam totally lost Iam not taking care of myself as I should ,There again trying hard?  

I cann,t seem to get motivated

 

DH

 

 

 

 

Views: 72

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B posted a blog post

Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
Dec 2
Profile IconBert Sel and Nikki joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 27
Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 19
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service