Finally Beginning to Grieve

My husband died May 14, 2008. My son-in-law announced to my daughter October 5 that their marriage was over and moved out of the house November 7. I started seeing a counselor after my daughter got divorced (it was final March 2009). I felt I needed to know how best to help her and her children cope. The counselor pointed out that I was depressed and that I hadn't yet grieved the passing of my husband. I didn't want to believe him, but he assured me that I was in denial. Go figure.

I didn't really have time to grieve Ed's death. My sob of a former son-in-law chose to act out shortly after Ed died and then left the family less than 6 months after Ed's death. I was much too busy supporting my daughter and her children through this trial to think of grieving my own loss. Now it seems I cannot put it off any longer.

I finally have the luxury to shed tears without worrying how it will affect someone else if they see me cry. I miss my honey so much!! He had an alarm set on his wrist watch that still goes off every day. I tell my grandkids that's grandpa talking to me. I didn't know I had postponed grieving. It increases my anger at the ex-sil. He took so much away from the family without any thought as to how his leaving would effect his wife, his children, or me. He's so selfish!! I've got to work on the anger, too.

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Comment by Eve on June 28, 2010 at 10:34pm
I see it's been a year since I commented. I am doing much better. I've had a lot of health challenges this year. Getting better physically has greatly helped my mental and emotional well-being. I still miss Ed a great deal but the grief is not as immediate and and acute as it was earlier.
Comment by Sara on June 30, 2009 at 12:50pm
Wow, Eve...I am so sad to have to say that I can somewhat relate, or at least my Mom possibly could...I am so sorry for your pain...

My Dad died this past January of '09 and my abusive husband and my divorce will (I pray) be finalized next month. It's also, of course, very difficult for my Mom to watch my two little girls and I go through this without my Dad there...he was our protector and sense of security...so...

I promise to keep you all in my prayers...xoxoxoxoxo
Comment by Eve on June 18, 2009 at 3:30pm
Having kind of a bad day. Started out seeing the eye doctor and having my tear duct flushed. That's enough to put a damper on the day. Just a bit depressed today. Hoping it will pass.
Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on June 17, 2009 at 9:43pm
Wondering how you are doing today.

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