Today at 5:15 pm our best friend Zero went to heaven. The discs in his lower spine were slipped, and cutting off the nerves to his back legs. A few years back a man with no heart I presume, rolled our Zero down the gravel road right in front of my husband, and on purpose. That was the beginning of the end for our wonderful dog Zero. Since then Zero has had trouble with his hips, and back legs. It's a strange thing, but he had been acting like a pup for the last few weeks until this passed Saturday. He laid down and couldn't get back up on his own. I have been listening to him cry, and whimper for the last 3 days. It broke my heart. Zero was a really good dog. He would protect any of us from danger. He was a good hunting dog. He had the biggest doggie smile I've ever seen, and he smiled often. When he was a puppy Ben was getting ready to deploy to Iraq so he was staying with us, and Zero chewed up his wallet, credit cards, and a very expensive pair of shoes. Ben was so angry with that dog! He smacked him, and I cried. Ben never laid a hand on Zero again. Ben, and Zero became very good friends!

Today my husband, and I sat on the floor at the vet clinic, and talked too, and petted, our wonderful Zero for the last time. As we held him in our arms the vet put him to sleep. We both wept. I haven't cried this hard in a long time. Losing Zero brought back a lot of memories of the boys. I have to say putting Zero down today hurt like hell. One more piece of my vessel to glue back on. I know now for sure that the death of our children was the worst pain I have ever felt, and the worst pain I will ever feel.

I got off work early today because my husband called from the vet's office and gave me the bad news. I really had a hard time keeping it together. I worried that my co workers would think I was insane feeling so bad about my dog as I did. I wonder what they were thinking? I was thinking how could I hurt so bad for the dog when I have already lost 2 children? Then I figured it out. When all living things we love die, it hurts, it hurts but at different degrees. Never the less it's still pain. I held zero till after he took his last breath. I do this because I have this thing about holding my animals in my arms when they are dying because I didn't get to hold my children when they died. So I try to do it for our animals when I can, and would do so for any member of my family. Whether they be God's creatures or humans.

I did ok until they took him, and put him in the bag. Wow, did I ever have flashbacks of when lil Del died. Funny how certain things can trigger your mind, and put you right back where you were 15 years ago. The pain wasn't as bad, but the guilt, and the sadness were just as I remembered.

I know dogs, and all God's creatures go to heaven because it says so in the bible, and because I know in my heart that God loves all of his creatures also. I know that because God entrusted man with the care of his creatures, and since man is the closest to Jesus, God's creatures must be pretty important too!

I love you Zero! I will miss you more than you will ever know! I'm grateful to God that he put you in my life! You Don't have to suffer any more, and I know the boys will take good care of you. You were a good dog, and a very good friend. May you find Peace, and love in the heavens!