Oct 1 2014 -  Today was another long day where time catches up to you and you cant help but think of the ones that have passed. My husbands father is here from out of state and i cant help but go to that place where you wish it was you. To be with your father. But in April that dream of spending a week with my father slipped away right before my eyes .

  For those who dont know what happen i will fill you in. On April 17 2014 i got a phone call that no daughter should ever get. It was a normal day. I was at work. Getting ready to pick up for the day. I fed the kiddos at work snack and get ready to head home for the night. When i went inside to check my phone to see what time it was i got a strange feeling. I had two missed calls from my step mom and messages from my step sister. Who rarely ever messages me or calls me. I had this sick feeling in my gut. I then went back outside where my fellow co workers were. I said hmm that is strange. I talk to my closest co worker and said that is strange. I have some missed some messages from my family out of state. I wonder what they are about. She then said you better call. It could be something important. I said nah i will wait. Shes like NO go call them back. You might regret it if you dont. So i broke down and called her back.  This is a call that i never thought i would get. My step mother was in tears and said honey you need to sit down. I said okay. She goes your father is gone. Alcohol took your father from us. I couldnt believe my ears.  I said wait what ... what happen say that again. She again told me . I went and ended my phone call and went to the floor. In tears. My father then man whom i called dad was not with me anymore. I was not sure what i had just heard. My co work found on the floor of the daycare i work at in tears and asked me what happen. I said i believe my father has passed away. She then called my boss and i left work early. I then called my husband and told him what i just heard. He was not sure what to say or do. He hasnt lost anyone close to him. I then called my mother and told her. I then went to my mothers house to tell my sister. I didnt know how i was going to tell her. 

 My mother then called my step mother to get how and why he had passed. She told us that he had been drinking again and couldnt not handle it anymore.She had put him in a hotel room where she thought he could clean himself up. He was having issues with his blood pressure and with drinking made this bad at home for her so you decided the best place was a place not with her. She then told me that my fathers face wasnt recognizable he had a heart attack and fell on his face. Then another store was he was passed for 3 days before anyone found him. This is when i got angry and i wanted some answers,the right ones not what she thought she knew but the facts. 

  I got them alright. Ones that i did not want to hear but at least i knew what really happen. My father was alone in a hotel room where he was trying to clean himself from alcohol and dealing with high blood pressure . He was going though withdraws and had a massive heart attack. Now you say well if he was in a medical rehab center he could have been watched. Your right. But nope he was alone and died alone.

    My heart will always ache for the fact my father was not surrounded by his loved ones on his last days with us. He was alone in a hotel room trying to fix his problems and it end up taking his life.