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I wanted to write today about anger. After my son passed away, many of his friends wrote beautiful memories and feelings about him via Facebook. I didn't realize how much he meant to so many people and how many lives were touched by his kindness. However, what angers me is that not ONE of these "FRIENDS" ever came to visit him in the nursing home. He was in a nursing facility for 10 years and yet only his dad, myself and his stepdad came on a regular basis. I understand that it's hard to see one of your young friend deteriorating in front of you but Matthew was 100% in his head and longed for friendship. He would have given anything for someone to come see him that he had considered his friend.
I am so angry that all of these wonderful thoughts and feelings were expressed about him AFTER he was gone. He would have loved and cherished knowing how everyone felt about him. I am angry that he got Wilson's disease to begin with, but angrier about his friends not visiting him.
I didn't expect people to come every day etc. I know everyone has lives, kids, jobs etc. But now he's gone and there's no longer a chance to come see him and let him know what a great person these friends thought he was.
He never expressed anger to me about no one coming but I know in his heart, he was sad about it. He just wanted to be a normal 21 year old.
Comment
I guess this was a learning experience for me. That's about all I can take away from the lack of friends coming to see my son. It taught me to take the time and let people know that I care and I'm thinking of them. It's too late once they are gone. I never discussed with him about friends not coming to see him. It was a subject we avoided because there wasn't anything i could do about it anyway. I'm hoping in his heart he knew he was loved by many.
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