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After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
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Comment by Wendy Dyson on March 7, 2010 at 3:23am
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Several months before my brother died I had a horrible dream; I don't remember the details, but I called my brother and we talked about death and dying and what our wishes would be when we die. I told him then that if I died before he did that I would come back and let him know that I love him and that I am ok. I have been absolutely devastated since I lost my brother two weeks ago. For those first few days I kept waiting for a sign from him and was so disappointed to not have any.
Then, on the evening following his viewing, I was driving home, thinking of all of the things I would have to face alone in the future, without him, and how my soul was just crushed. I was nearly home when something told me to turn on the radio. Up to this point I had not listened to the radio or watched tv at all, having completely isolated myself in my grief. However, I heeded this voice in my head, turned on the radio, and the song that was playing was Train's "Hey, Soul Sister". Part of the refrain of the song says, "I don't want to miss a single thing you're going to do ... ". I know my brother sent me this song and I'm so grateful. I'm desperately hoping to hear from him again. I love him and miss him so much.
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Comment by Bridgette on February 11, 2010 at 9:14pm
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I've tried to get on with life, I was not hopeless but it would be easier and make me happier to be with the man pictured here, my Big Guy, Stephen. I love you and if there is anyway we could be together whilst awaiting the Rapture then that is my preference. You have not come to me, as far as I can see and I have kept my mind and heart open, I sleep lightly and peacefully with out too much circulation or disturbance (although often the light and television are on). Your pillows remain untouched in the pillowcases you last laid your head on. Before I knew you wouldn't be coming home I erroneously washed your favorite pajamas, I really wish I hadn't. It would not scare me to see, smell, or hear you. You were my comforter, please be that again.
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Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on February 6, 2010 at 5:38pm
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These are amazing experiences. I love to read them. Keep them coming. They certainly have a healing effect. At least for me, anyway. They really make me smile and feel more comfortable.
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Comment by Rochelle Kramer on February 6, 2010 at 5:05pm
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I have had many different types of "communication" with my mom since she passed 3 years ago. As, I have been pulling out of depression, I noticed that she is here a lot less. Every once in a while now, especially when I am trying to fall asleep, I will feel a presence wrap around me, as if she is holding me until I fall asleep.
My first experience, well, I personally didnt experience it, but it happened to me. The 1 year anniversary of her death, I was a mess. I called my best friend and asked her to stay the night, she was planning to but ended up not being able to leave her house. Anyways, at that time I shared a room with my 14 year old niece. The day after the anniversary, my niece texted me at work and asked me if my friend stayed over, I thought she must have just over heard the conversation. Though, she said, that she distinctly saw someone curled up next to me in bed, holding me. It freaked me out a little at first, because I didnt make the connection. I told my best friend about what my niece said, and she was like "uuuum, hello? isnt it obvious". The second I realized it, a weird feeling ran across my body and I just started crying. Every time I think of that story, my eyes swell with tears. If only I could hug her back.
My 2nd experience wasnt mine either. Which pissed me off at the time that she never tried making direct contact with me. Well, a few months after the 1st communication, my best friend told me that she had a dream about my mom. Note that I met my friend my 1st year of college, well after my mom died, the only picture she saw was a small pic of my mom when she was 19, and she looked completely different when she passed. I never talked about how my mom looked when she passed either, so this one freaked me out a little too. My friend explain how the room was set up when she was under hospice care, how my mom looked: the weight loss, yellowing of skin, white hair. She even explained the exact chair I sat in when I talked with my mom. So in the dream, was me, and my friend in the room hanging out with my mom. I left to go get a glass of water, and she said that my mom sat up in her bed and leaned over to my friend and said " Alexis, Alexis! You have to tell Rochelle that I am ok, that she doesnt need to hurt anymore, that I am happy, tell her to not worry, and that she did all that she could, and I love her, tell her this for me". That was the dream. I was in chronic depression at the time, so it took a while for me to see it as a blessing.
This past anniversary, the 3rd, was one to smile for. My 1 year old niece kept on going to the porch window of our apartment and pointing up. Thats when me n my sister noticed a dove sitting on the porch lamp. The dove stayed there up until the next morning. I knew instantly that it was a gift from my mother, reminding my and my sister that she hasnt forgotten us, that shes still here in our hearts. My sister says that she will still point to that lamp, and recognizes doves in pictures.
My now,15 month old niece, seemed to have a few connections with my mom. I wonder if they crossed paths at one point. I see so much of my mom in her. Between 3-6 months, my niece would stare at this certain corner of the room, and every time she would have this huge smile across her face. I know little kids can experience these things because their mind is open to it, it's nice to know that maybe my niece has some sort of relationship with my mom.
I personally get a lot of dream experiences, and presences. I notice it's usually when I am dealing with something, or having a rough patch in my life. I like to think of them as reminders of her love.
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Comment by Sally on January 1, 2010 at 10:27pm
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I do believe that life goes on. I know because my husband makes it a point to communicate with me when I need him.
A few months ago I moved to my new home, and I had received the last electrical bill of my previous home that we shared together. The bill was for $10.14. I thought that was strange because our aniversary is on October 14 and we always used to comment on the clock at 10:14 on certain days. I'm not sure but when ever we looked at the clock is seem to be at that time. We thought that was cool.
I went to the post office in the morning to mail out the bill and few other letters. Then a few weeks went by and you'll never guess what came in the mail that day. The bill. Someone about 80 miles away from where I live return the bill with a letter saying that they found this bill with the check in a parking lot. It was from some funeral home. I couldn't believe it. I showed my family and some thought it wasjust grief and some really thought he was communcatingwith me. I guess I should of listened more carefully. I now have the bill, the check and the letter kept in a very safe place. I promised not to ignore the signs again.
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Wow, so many amazing stories.
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Comment by Theresa Wheeler on December 2, 2009 at 12:51pm
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I have been very lucky to have many ADC with my husband. When he died, I saw him over his hospital bed waving to me, saying I love you, and going to heaven. He also messes with my computer because he knows I am not that computer literate. He has come to me in dreams. I also feel his touch: He put his arm around me at a 4th of July party. I am hoping he comes to our son because he is having a difficult time with his father's death.
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Comment by Michelle on October 17, 2009 at 9:24pm
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I dont know if this is what the author was talking about but here is an interesting story..
Maybe 6 months after my Mom passed away, we started attending a new church. We didn't know any body there but the people seemed friendly. After attending a couple months or so, my 7 year old son informed me that there was a person at the church that looked a lot like Grandma (my mom). So, I got curious and started looking around the church to figure out who he thought looked like my Mom. I looked around every Sunday and told him to quietly point this woman out to me next time he sees her. Then one Sunday I asked if he saw her and he said "She is ALWAYS sitting behind us. If you ever want to see her, just look behind you!" I thought that was a strange response. I continued looking around and never saw anybody who looked like her. I asked my son if he still sees her (its been a year now) and he said No. He hasn't seen "the look-alike" ever since he said that.
Weird! Maybe he was really seeing Grandma??
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Comment by Anne Marie Woodruff on October 16, 2009 at 2:02pm
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We just recently lost a great man, a hero from World War II, Korea, Bikini Island, Vietnam, Cold war Vet. His home has always been an open door for family, friends, extended family to visit, and both my Husband and I have been here so many times and we have so many wonderful memories of sitting with Howard in the kitchen for many many hours just listening to him tell us stories of his life ventures. I would often sit with him in the Libary listening to his much loved Big band music, we would loose all concept of time while listening to the music. We were here last weekend to attend his funeral what an emotional roller coaster that was, but We had some comfort knowing that on many occasions while sitting with Howard he would talk about the day he would be reunited with his wife the mouse. That was the nickname he had for her. He told us that he wanted to go "from the house to his mouse". Well with him being a die hard Marien He had a military funeral, which was beautiful, he had the music he had choosen to play while being carried out of his home to the family cemetary, but what gave me peace was I could hear him say...." here we go from the house to my mouse". Well we are back at Bellemonte again this weekend, as we were suppose to be, as Howard phrased it "Babysitting" him. Well even thou we can't see him or hear him, he's very much here with us. My husband has been smelling a fragrance in certain parts of the house, I have not smelt it but I feel Howard around me, and tonight I will be sitting in the libary listening to the old tunes he so loved. I'm happy he's here with us, it gives up comfort in this beautiful old house that was and will always be Lt Col Alberts home.
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Comment by donna henderson on October 9, 2009 at 10:35pm
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my friend kathleen does that occasionally one day i was using my laptop and out of the blue it started to play angel by sarah mclachlan, i think its her way of saying im okay, and i miss you too.
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