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After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
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Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on June 1, 2012 at 10:02pm
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Kim - your question is forcing me to go deeper into myself and face my own pain, and that is probably good. As I'm thinking about how I could word what I felt, I think this would be the best explanation. My mom loved God, and so did my dad. My mom was a lot more devout than my dad, but they both loved him. So, with that example from them, I couldn't really not love God or not believe in him if for no other reason than it would hurt my parents. But, it was more than that. I had felt God many times (and deceased ancestors) when my parents were sick, so I couldn't not believe in him. But, I needed him to be a parent then. I was feeling the worse fear I'd ever felt in my life when my parents were dying, and the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life while they were dying and after they died and still. And, I needed God to hold me in his arms and rock me and tell me it was going to be okay, and I needed him to open the veil and show me where my parents were and assure me they were okay. At the same time, my emotions were so raw that I couldn't let God or anyone else see them, because I couldn't handle having them exposed. If I was hurting this bad without them exposed, I felt like if anything exposed them that the pain would swallow me up and I would be sucked down into the depths of pain and be trapped by it. So, I wouldn't even let God comfort me. I was wanting him to comfort me at the same time that I was telling him he wasn't welcome, so I created my own Catch 22. When I picture how it felt in my head, I see me standing in front of a dark gray backdrop with light gray thin and misty clouds swirling around me as I stand alone. Even when I began to study, it was intellectual, because I needed to understand that God was an okay place for my parents to be and an okay place for me to seek solace in, but I couldn't open up. Every time I went to church after my dad died for months, then I'd start to feel God instead of intellectualize him, and I'd sit through the whole church service and cry until I think people must have thought I was crazy. So, I was trying to "think" God, but I wasn't "feeling" God, but it was only when I'd allow myself to feel him that I'd find any healing in it. But, it was just to painful to feel him, because like I said before, when I felt him in church I'd cry and cry and cry. So, I put God in an intellectual box and forced him to stay there while I studied to make sure my parents were safe with him. It wasn't until I had healed enough from my grief that I could feel him that I began to let him help me heal. But, for months after my dad died, I couldn't even stand to be touched by people, so how could I let God touch me. It was that way in the last months my dad was dying. My friend bought me a massage gift certificate for my birthday, and I had an anxiety attack at the thought of going. I could barely breathe. I felt like a caged animal. I couldn't stand for anyone to touch me, because if they touched me I'd start screaming all the pain out, and I couldn't be that vulnerable. And, that is kinda how I was with God too. I couldn't let him touch me, because I didn't think I could handle screaming my pain out at that time. Does this make any sense, or do I just sound like a lunatic? Blessings to you Kim. I will pray for you tonight. I know how much pain you are feeling, and there is nothing else to do but be honest and admit that it sucks like nothing has ever sucked before. But, it will improve with time.
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Kim - I'm not sure how to answer your question, so forgive me if I ramble. I don't know that I lost my faith in God. I was angry, but not even angry really - disillusioned I guess, with God for a while. I couldn't understand why he hadn't answered my prayers and saved her. I couldn't understand why he had taken someone who meant so much to me. But, a friend of mine who is a pastor's wife told me it's okay to be angry with God. She said he's a big God and he can handle it. And, she said there's no use lying about it if we are, because he knows everything we are thinking any way, so we may as well be honest and tell him we're angry or loosing faith or whatever we are going through. Gosh, I'm not sure what I was thinking - but I don't think I lost faith. But, I grew up in a horrible fundamentalist Christian church that taught hate way more often than love, and I couldn't stand the thought that my parents might be over there with a hateful God. So, I began to study and ask questions and talk to pastors from other denominations. I grew up in a church that dunked in baptism, and they told us that sprinkling churches were from the devil - so I went to sprinkling churches to ask questions. I learned that most sprinkling church pastors were required to have doctorate degrees, and they really knew a lot more than where I came from. In all my study, I learned that God is a lot more loving God who offers grace and forgiveness and mercy and love, and now I'm okay with my parents being with him. So, I'm not sure what I felt right after my mom died. It might have been loosing belief. It might have been anger. It might have been disillusionment. I really don't know how to describe what I felt. But, whatever it was, it prompted me to learn about God, and now my faith is stronger than it was before. But, there was a period where I had some negative something going on about God that prompted me to look deeper and try to understand him more, but to be honest it almost feels like there are no words to describe it. I hope that answers your question and helps some. One thing I did learn is that God is rarely how people see him. People project a lot of their own stuff and a lot of human qualities onto God, because that is what we understand, but I now know that God is way bigger than that. So, I now understand that I shouldn't blame God for what people do or say. I also realize that I shouldn't blame him for my parents deaths, because maybe something is happening that is a good thing for them that maybe I don't fully understand. I doubt that many of us would still want to be hobbling around at 200 years old, so death must hold some good meaning that we just don't understand yet. That doesn't mean that loosing someone doesn't hurt like heck, but maybe we just don't understand it all yet. I don't think God is bad.
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Comment by Kim Phillips on June 1, 2012 at 8:07pm
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Thank you storyas fawnfeather for your honesty. did you lose your fait in G-D?
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jb - I think it was a message. How often do you see one balloon much less two pop as they are going up into the air. I've never seen it happen before as they were going up.
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Comment by dream moon JO B on June 1, 2012 at 10:29am
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i ment her mam and dads grave
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wen i went to the semetry with my mum to put flowers on my mum and dads grave i left mesage on 2 ballons i wote to my dad and i let them go wen we wer leaving we herd 1 pop and we turnd around the other 1 jumpet then popet i dont no if it woz a mesage from my dad or wot it woz i no i dremd of him yesterday and in my dream he said he missis us all
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Kim, I wish there was something I could say that would make all the pain go away, but there isn't. When you are that close to someone, it is much harder. I felt/feel that way after loosing my mom. You do feel like you lost half of yourself and that you are only half here after loosing someone you are that close to. I remember when my mom was dying that I sat looking at the phone and thinking, 'How can I never talk to her on the phone again'. We talked on the phone every single day. The only comfort I can give is that you don't really get over it, but it does get much easier. A few years ago when I lost my mom I felt exactly like you say you feel now, and it is better now. I still miss her and I still have dreams a lot, but it is a lot better than it was. I didn't know how I could survive back then. Now I feel like I can survive. Hang in there. It will improve with time. I'll say a prayer for you tonight.
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thank you storyas and you aren't putting ideas in my head. I think if it was her voice I heard then I wouldn't be doubting but it sounds more like my voice LOL Yes I never lied to her in our friendship and I wasn't about to lie to her when she was passing. When grandmother passed last april. She was 86 and had the most amazing life. Her passing didn't hit me as hard as my friends. My friend and I did everything together. We said good morning to each other and good night every day of our lives. I helped take care of her during her illness and I was the only one she really trusted She was the most amazing woman. She passed however to young. I have lost my other half. I feel so lost without her. Any time my phone rings or I get a text I am hoping it is her. I keep praying that GOD will bring her back (I know that won't happen). I beg GOD to let her spirit come to me. I have lost many people in my life too and this one has about killed me. Her son and I are close so I still have a piece of her through him. Well.... I have blabbed enuff. Thanks and blessings
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Kim, maybe at least some of the responses you hear are her. Maybe that is how she is contacting you. And, maybe not. I don't what to put ideas in your head and tell you what to believe. But, could that be possible? I've had that experience and at first I thought i was nuts but then when my dad was really sick I heard things so loudly that I knew it was not me answering myself. I don't know if that makes any sense, But, I don't want to tell you what your experiences are. Only you can know what is right among what people tell you and it seems that maybe Sue has a better understanding of the way you are grieving than I do. So, don't let me but thoughts in your head. But, to be honest, I think your inability to lie to her was selfless. You wanted to keep your relationship with her real, because what you had was so real and deep. Maybe she really appreciated that. I would. And, I understand having that kind of deep love for a friend. You guys got each other. You had a connection. That is hard to find. You were lucky to have each other. I had a connection similar to that with my mom. I have loved and lost many relatives and my mom and dad hurt the most, but my mom hurt in a very different way due to us having that type of connection. I am sorry you lost that, but I am glad for both of you that you had it when she was alive. I hope she is able to make contact with you at some point to bring you some peace.
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Thank you storya fawnfeather,
I know I am not selfish per se but I understand what sue was saying. Her son told her that he would be ok and that she could go to GOD. I couldn't do that. I couldn't lie to her and tell her that I would b ok and that she could leave. Every day seems to get harder and harder. I talk to her out loud and then I hear her response in my head. I know it isn't her. It is me responding to myself. We knew each other so well that I would know what she would say. I think I am losing it. I just thought our love was so strong (we were not gay but we had this unexplainable connection and love for each other that transcended any label) that she would come to me in spirit, that she would send me messages. Sue was right that I am blocking her b/c of the grief.
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