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After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
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Comment by Brett Bowman on August 2, 2017 at 10:58am
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Thanks, Dolly. You said something very telling in there. The pain is yours to bear. It's not your moms. I am glad that my mom is not suffering anymore. She suffered enough. She is whole and she is happy somewhere with God. That is something to hold on to.
But Lord do I miss her. She's all that I had. And she was enough. Where on earth do I go now? I just don't know.
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Comment by Dolly on August 2, 2017 at 9:53am
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I have had so MANY inexplicable experiences Brett... I used to have many of my experiences posted on here but then one really bad day I must have deleted them all... but there was this one still up so maybe this is for you... I will try to post some more later... we had things happen like lights go on by themselves in a house we only visited once a week... we knew they weren't on when we left because we always check... but being a skeptic in some ways I DID ask God that ONE time to let it happen again if it was HIM or my son that had caused it to happen... and the VERY NEXT TIME we went back to the house they were on again... and then they never would go on again no matter what ... maybe it was some fluke, but I don't think so... and then there was a couple of days after my son died when the computer started to play a song... no icon anywhere... nothing showed that anything was playing.. but it played ONE song... by a group my son had loved as a little boy.. the Chipmunks... and it was a song I had never heard them sing before... it was 'We Are Family'... which was especially significant to me because my children are adopted.. all but one of them... just that one song played and then nothing...and there are lots more....... here is the one I posted about my mom on here some time ago...
when my mom died I was with her as well.. I had my hand on her ankle and my sister was by her head.. mom was so ill and could hardly breathe.. she had struggled HARD for so long... suddenly out of my mouth came the words "Lord You are supposed to be the God of Mercy.. where is the mercy in THIS?" And RIGHT AT THAT VERY SECOND as the word 'this' was coming to an end.. right on the final 's' sound I literally FELT a RUSH of what felt like tingling energy come out of my mom and through my hand on her ankle and at that VERY SAME INSTANT .. ALL of her monitors simultaneously CRASHED and I knew her spirit had FLOWN from her body and gone to be with God.. nobody much believes me but it DID happen and although I still grieved her death I knew that all the pain and suffering was now only MINE to bear... me and my sisters and my dad... and that MOM was now gloriously WHOLE and without pain FOREVER... and that one day we would all join her.. God willing.. so have HOPE and hold on to those little kisses from heaven.. they are REAL and they are God's way of allowing you to know that your mom lives with Him and still cares about you and is STILL WITH you in some way that none of us can really understand... I send you hugs from my broken heart to yours... we will hold on to each other here on earth until we too are Home at last...
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Dolly, you do have a mother's heart and that means a lot to me. Sometimes I will see a mother and child together and I will just start to cry. There is nothing in this world so dear to me as a mother.
About that on-line preacher... good golly. I wish that people would just let God decide the rules that we play by. God knows what is in our hearts. I ask God every night to tell my mother that I love and miss her. Sometimes while I am in prayer with God I will start talking to my mother as well. That is not because I think she is any kind of God. It's because that she is with God in heaven now. Maybe they are aware of us still. Whenever I cry and start talking out loud to my mom, I always include God in my words. God is love. My mom is a part of him. I just have to believe that there is a connection between the three of us when we are joined in love like that. Isn't love what God is all about.
I can get pretty fired up talking to some folks about this. One friend told me that I should not talk to my mom because she is likely in purgatory. That did not sit too well with me. Right before my mom died she sat up in bed and was staring at the ceiling. She reached over her head for a minute and then died. It was Christmas Eve. It felt like Jesus had just come right into my house on Christmas Eve. That memory hits me harder now than it did then. At the time I was just consumed with my mother's death. She died with her eyes open, looking at me. And that is a hard memory. Her eyes were lifeless and I will never forget that. She was gone.
I am so sorry that you lost your son. I don't mean to pry. I would just like to know more about your experiences. How you can know that they were undeniable and real. Experiencing that would give me so much peace. I am sure that they were a great comfort to you.
I don't know much about the afterlife. I do think that we are likely to keep our personalities. If I had passed before my mom, I think that, if I could, I would want to some how let her know that I was okay. My mom never went in for those kind of things. To her, you died, went to heaven, and didn't look back. That's what she believed anyway. That was my mom. She didn't need or want her mother to reach out to her from beyond. She was just happy knowing that she was in heaven with my grandpa.
I need to know that mom is still aware of me. That she knows how much I love and miss her. That she is still in my corner. I have been told that kind of thinking proves a lack of faith on my part. I have been told a lot of things. I only know what I feel.
God Bless you, Dolly. I wish you love and peace. And I thank you for being a mom.
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Dear Brett... I have had so many of the same feelings and have been told much the same about ADCs.. that they are dangerous and not real and such... but in my case I got signs without asking... with my son.. many... but only one with my mom.. it was just a brief wisp of the aroma of roses that came and went.. she loved roses... its a long story but it happened in such a way that it had no explanation... I didn't seek it, but I wanted it... and I guess God knew it and provided it... I don't know how they work but the ADC's I have had are so real and inexplicable and unasked for that I think they have to be real... I don't know why they seem to have stopped pretty much now after 4 years since my son died, but they have I think... strangely now the only thing that keeps happening is a brief aroma of pipe smoke that comes and goes... always in the basement... never asked for or sought... and always brief but strong... dad?.. I don't know what these are just that they are real... they don't scare me or anything... rather they make me feel as if there is some attempt by someone... a loved one or God.. it doesn't matter who.. to reach out to me for some reason ... so don't give up hope... I often ask God to tell my son how much I love him and miss him and one heartless online preacher insisted I was praying to the dead by doing this and kicked me out of the online church because of it... I never prayed to my son... sometimes I would say 'I miss you so much baby' and things like that but never prayed to him.. people can be so cruel ... and this man was supposedly a man of God... but God isn't cruel and I believe He wants us to know our loved ones are safe and well and that we WILL be together again one day... I don't have any PROOF that this is true except all the wonders of God that I HAVE seen come to pass and those are what give me hope and faith that life after death was always part of His plan and we WILL see this eventually... come here to this site and let us talk to you... we aren't your mother but we have mother's hearts... and we too have broken hearts for loved ones who have gone to be with God... its not nearly the same but its something... we share a bond of loss...
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I can only wish that I could have an ADC. It's been a year and a half for me. Just some sign that my mom was still aware of me and that she was still in my corner. I'm selfish that way. I know that she is fine now. No more cancer. No more COPD. I can envision her in heaven being, healthy, young and better than ever.
It's hard to feel secure about an after death communication. After my moms funeral I asked my minster if mom was still aware of me. He told me that the soul will always remember but that she is in the presence of God now and that is all that matters to her. Well, all of that is glorious, but it didn't make me feel any better about my own grief. I was my moms caretaker. How does one go from 24-7 with my mom to absolute zero.
I lost my mom on Christmas Eve. I woke up Christmas morning remembering all of the joyous Christmas mornings with mom. There was nothing joyous about this one.
There are many people who will tell you that an ADC is from the dark side. There are many who will tell you that it is wrong to try to communicate with the deceased, that you may get someone, but it won't be your loved one.
There are also those who say that my mom can't see me grieve because there are no tears in heaven. I don't want my mom to be sad for me. If anything, I think that because she is in heaven, she knows that everything will be okay. She knows that I am still here and that I cannot realize what is on the other side. Maybe she knows that all will be well one day and there is no reason for her to cry for me.
All I know is that I love my mom and that I really miss her. Just feeling her presence once would be a dream come true. If I knew that she still loves me, and if I knew that she was still a mom to me, it would help so much.
When we were little we could run to our moms when we were hurt. She would hug us and make everything better. That is the kicker about death. I can't run to mom anymore. I can't call her on the phone. I can't watch television with her anymore. No more Sunday dinners. But, man... I hope she still is with me. That she hugs me when I cry for her, even if I can't feel it.
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Comment by dream moon JO B on July 17, 2017 at 4:34pm
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i fond a a fethr on bac door sptep few wks ago i did so i kpt it thn few mor seam 2 lnd near me say berds sia ngls coz thy hav angl wings wen thy open thm thy do
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Comment by Jesse's Mom on June 18, 2017 at 11:22pm
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Leslie, I am sorry for the loss of your dear father. I read your post about the ADC with your dad. It would seem like you must be clairvoyant, and these are gifts for some reason, that some people seem to have. (especially those who have been near death themselves seem to come back with this ability).
I too had many instances of odd things that happened.
Very real dreams, like I was actually somewhere else...it felt like that very much the first year or so after my beloved son passed.
I send you gentle thoughts this evening, grief can be hard.
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leslie... thanks for sharing... sometimes I write out posts and forget to push 'add comment' and leave the page and then later I see my post never made it on...
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hey dolly ,I wrote a well thought out response which seems to have disappeared. I'm sorry for that
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lilies are lovely. And yes, somehow our loved ones manage to share things.. the radio would end up on a station. I spoke to him many times, directly, as if he were right there. It's a bit sad when it starts not happening as much as you would want it to. I'm naturally gifted at spiritual types of communication despite being an atheist. With my father, it makes sense as we were so close. But even still, most people can't communicate with him like I can. I spoke to a friend of his last night who said my dad came to him and asked him how "work on Leslie is going". My dad's friend said "I can't reach her now John." And my dad replied "try harder".
Ever since my father's passing I've shut myself away, hidden my pain and avoided most people because the grief is too unbearable.
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