~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim

co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books

Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.

Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!

We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.

Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:

Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.

Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.

Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.

Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.

Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.

Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.

Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.

ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.

Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.

Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.

Telephone Calls:
These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.

Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."

Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.

According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:

"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...

Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...

Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...

I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."

You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.

Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.

Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.

Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.

Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.

Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.

For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."

Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.

Webmaster: Will Guggenheim

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Tags: ADC, after, communication, death

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Comment by Kim Phillips on July 31, 2012 at 6:55pm

jb

I lost my soulmate 3 months ago and no it does not get easier.  My understanding is that you just learn how to deal with it better.

 

Sue that is really awesome.  I keep begging and praying that my love one will contact me but nothing.  I don't feel her, dream about her, smell her NOTHING!

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 31, 2012 at 3:05pm

i no it dose not get easer i get sic of peole telling me it duse i feal like saying tell the truth it gets harder if my dad had bean hear we wood have took him to my anties 80th birthday next weak she woz the 1 that set my mum up on a blind date with him after her devorse they had the best 39 yrs together next yr wood of bean ther 40th wed antrsy he even tret my big sis and brother has his own kids 

Comment by Sue Waxman on July 30, 2012 at 3:29pm

It never gets easier.

Comment by Sue Waxman on July 30, 2012 at 3:28pm

Received another phone message from my mother on my cell. It has been over one year since she left this place and has gone to the next. The message is my 4th message. They are all different. I cry where I hear her voice and then I am amazed all at the same time. This one was in a very weak and far away voice "Sue.....it's mom".

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 30, 2012 at 3:05pm

people say it gets easer i dont i thnk it gets harder every day iv never felt numb and hurt like this before iv never bean hurt like this even wen iv lost my cuzens and grandparents i cant rember fealing like thisi  before its like a nitemare but i no im not on my own on hear coz we all going thru the same thng in difrent ways 

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 27, 2012 at 3:15pm

the day my dad died and we got called out to id the body the nite nurse had to hold me up i woz that numb if id bean hit by a speading train i wood of got up and warket away with out fealing it i still feal the same way i tryed tarking to my big bro and big sister but all i get i shud be over it but its ok foer them thy still hav ther dad i dont but all us 3 seam to do is argue with eash other and argue over sun of the sillists thngs i seam to get picket on for bean the yugest my dad used to get picket on by 1 of his sisters the oldest 1 used to bully him wen he woz litel ther is sum thngs i wishit id dun to but didnt there woz a teacher at skool who woz allways hiting kids for the least bit mistake he hit me to but i never told any 1 coz i thort no 1 wood bleve me till he hit 1 girl so hard she took a epletic fit but she told her parents i thnk he got the sack in the end 

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on July 26, 2012 at 9:04pm

jb - Hi.  That is a neat experience you had.  I think I'm going to start talking to pictures of my parents and see what happens.  As for how bad it hurts - I know what you mean.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, has hurt like loosing my parents.  I spent so much time with my mom that it almost killed me when I lost her.  Then, a few years later I loose my dad and am going through it again.  Yet, when my grandparents died, I never felt this kind of pain.  I feel so guilty now that I was not there for my parents more when their parents died, because I didn't understand how bad they were hurting, so I just assumed they were okay.  As I look back, I doubt they were.  After my dad's parents died, he spent some time drinking way too much.  He eventually stopped, but it went on for a few years.  And, when my mom's parents died, I can now remember stuff she said that lets me know how bad she was hurting.  I remember that my Grandmother loved to eat.  The day after she died my mom looked at me with this hurt in her eyes and said something about worrying about if my Grandmother would have something to eat on the other side or something like that.  And, I remember her saying how it had hurt her to watch my Grandmother loose her desire to eat when she'd always loved to eat so much.  i felt that same thing after my mom and dad died - remembering how they enjoyed eating and then couldn't.  But, I was in my early twenties and just didn't have any experience that would let me know how bad my parents were hurting when their parents, my grandparents, died.  I wish I would have known better what to do for them and had helped them through that more.  Sometimes I plain hate myself for that.  But, I just didn't know, because i had never known this kind of pain before.  I never knew it could hurt this bad.  About fifteen years before my mom died, my girlfriends son died.  She was married to an abusive partner, and I just knew he was some how responsible for it (everyone thought that) even though it was never proven.  I felt a lot of pain there, but it was guilt and not grief.  I felt like I should have done more than call child protective services and their priest to report the abuse and try to get the kid help (what more could I have done though?)  I felt a lot of guilt pain in that death, but it still was not nearly as bad as loosing my mom and dad.  Nothing has ever hurt me this much.  If someone would have told me it could hurt this bad before it happened, I would not have believed them.

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 25, 2012 at 3:39pm

I WOZ TARKING TO A FOTO OF MY DAD AND IT FELL OFF THR TABEL IT IS ON I WOZ SAYING WHY CANT U CUM BACK I NO HE CANT I NEVER THORT IT WOOD HURT LIKE THIS WEN MY DAD LOST HIS MUM MY NAN I USED TO CARL HER I CANT REMBER HUTING LIKE THIS I NO I WOZ JUST A KID WEN SHE DIED I NO MUM TOLD ME WEN SHE LOST HER PARENTS IT STILL URTS HER NOW SO I TRY NOT TO UPSET HER BY ASKING 

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on July 21, 2012 at 4:42pm

jb - I'm so sorry you've lost so many people to cancer.  Just the word is scary to hear.  I've had a lot of people die of cancer in my family too, and it just makes the C word scary.  I can understand feeling like there is a curse.  I just hope they find a cure for it or a way to stop it and very very soon.  Let's pray for that. 

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 21, 2012 at 3:03pm

i sum times think on my dads side thers a family curse of people of dying of canser his 3 sisters died of canser a lot of his cuzens died of canser our and i woz telling u abot who had brain canser our stevo my dads nefew my cuzen he died of pankrared canserbut i hate to hear kids geting canser 

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