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After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
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Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on October 22, 2012 at 8:57pm
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Kali, thank you. I know you are right, but sometimes grief makes us have distorted thinking. I think sometimes when we are grieving we think the worst possible instead of the best until the grief is over, then we can see the best. I thank God that I do have a connection. I'm not like a psychic or anything, but I come from the Appalachian Mountains and most people there are raised from children that this is normal (then I came to the city and they told me it wasn't and I turned a lot of it off), so most people in my family have had these experiences. I am grateful to have the connection. I want to hear from him even if it scares me sometimes. I'm grieving over a lot of losses lately plus recovering from exhaustion from being a caregiver several times in a row. So, I'm not always answering the phone. I just can't handle it sometimes. But, every time I get thoe middle of the night calls, I pick up right away in hopes it is him even if I'm scared. The other night my ringer was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it ring and there was a message. But, most of the time I grab that phone so fast and answer it hoping it is him. And, it hurts a lot, but I love those dreams of my mom, because I feel like I made a connection.
I'm sure Chris is with you even if you can't feel him. Some of us are just more sensitive than others. It has been my experience that right brained people get connections easier than left brained people, but I could be wrong. That is what I've seen in my small little piece of the universe. But, I think we can all do it eventually. I just say don't give up. Ask him to contact you. I did that one day with my dad. I visited his and my mom's grave, and as I left I asked them to let me know they were okay. I had a phone call that night.
You know - I admit I'm a very emotional person. Maybe that opens something in me that allows these things to happen. Are you emotional? Maybe if you just really let your emotions open up and feel all your feeling and let it out and in that state ask him to give you a message. I don't know if it will work. I'm just trying to think of things to help you. Because, as I'm thinking about this, it seems that those phone calls and dreams happen when I am really really really missing them and I'm feeling very emotional - am feeling so emotional I'm not blocking my emotions. Maybe there is something about not blocking our emotions that let it happen. It seems like these things happen to me when I'm being the most emotional.
I hope you get a message from Chris soon. Have you even had dreams? Maybe he is coming in dreams. In the early days after my Mom died, she only came to me in dreams.
I will be praying for you.
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Comment by Kali Grainger on October 22, 2012 at 8:33pm
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Storyas, please don't feel as those you are a burden in any way. Grief is grief... it doesn't matter how long it has been. We all hurt. I also don't personally believe that your father is trying to tell you he needs help or anything like that. I don't think there are any worries or concerns on the other side. He is probably just trying to make a connection.. You are lucky to have a connection. I don't even feel Chris around me.
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Kim, I will be praying for you. You do have a lot on your plate, and I'm sorry so much is hitting you at once. I know how you feel. It is awful. All I can think to do to help you is pray.
jb - I do see a person in the clouds, too.
Hey, can I talk to you all for a while. I've been trying to avoid getting into the nitty gritty of my problems, because my parents have been dead for a while, and I don't want to burden those who have more recently lost someone. But, I am having a hard time. I've had to slow down a bit lately. My health has had some issues and my husband's health has had some issues. I've had to pull it in and be more in the moment for those issues. Moving slower gives me more time to think. Then I've been working with my counselor and the past couple of weeks have intensely been working on past memories and situations. Making me think more in that time I have more of to think. And, it is all rushing back. My dad has been calling me more on the phone, but instead of just hanging up there is a long period where there is sound but it is not sound I am familiar with. The night before last I heard bells like a wind chime ringing 2 to 3 rings at a time. But, still he does not say anything to me. It is the same - the calls come in the middle of the night around the time he died, and they do not show up on my call log. They started exactly 24 hours after he died, so I know they are him. And, all calls show up on my call log except these. He has been gone a year and a half, so I am very very afraid that he is trying to tell me something or needs help, and I can't help him. If he were trying to tell me he is okay, would they still be happening. They are making me scared. And, when I'm listening to the sound (don't know what that sound is), I feel like I'm between both worlds.
Then, last night I had an experience. It might have been a dream, but I don't remember a dream. But, I felt like I was with my mom. She had a feeling about her as all people do, and I could feel her. And, I woke up this morning thinking that I had to clear my Saturday, so she and I could go shopping. We used to go shopping on Saturday a lot. Then, after I was awake for a little while I realized she was not alive and there would be no shopping, and I was devastated. I remember that feeling. It was a feeling, like an energy, we created together and that is how it felt when we spent time together. So, I woke up just knowing she was going to go shopping with me, but she is not here. I am devastated, and I can't stop crying. But, my dad's been gone a year and a half, and she died before him. I miss her so much. I don't really enjoy life since she left. I'm not feeling suicidal as i say this, so don't worry - but I'm torn between wanting to be here and wanting to go be with them.
Today is a very hard day, and I'm sorry to burden you all with it, because many of you have new grief that hurts even more. I don't want to be a burden to you all who have new grief.
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Comment by Mary on October 15, 2012 at 5:28pm
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Kali, they say that very young children can see angels, so she very well may be seeing her daddy or another angel
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Comment by dream moon JO B on October 15, 2012 at 3:05pm
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i thnnk i cort sumthnk in the sky i dont no ifts a angel or sumtnk
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When my uncle died suddenly, years ago when I was just a small child I somehow knew he was watching over me. I had a very high fever just after he died and I had a very vivid dream that he was telling me he was stil around & years later I felt him around me. I haven't thought too much about this but now I realize I had no-one suggesting anything to me - I thought/felt this on my own from 5yrs old. Now, my 22yr old son died 11/13/11 and I have felt him but I'v been resisting thinking too much about it just because I feel I might be 'losing it'. It has been so incredably hard to lose Jimmy &, as most of you know, people don't understand unless they've experienced the loss of a child. I have lost my uncle/Godfather who was very protective of me when he was alive. I lost my best friend from High School. She was murdered by her husband in 1996. My Grandmother who was very much like a mother to me in 1997. I'v lost 4 other friends through the years. All have been very, very difficult to endure. Losing my first born son has just completly rocked me to the very core! I have felt &/or believed that my Uncle, my Grandmother & my friends have been looking over me but I guess since it's usually the other way around, parents protect their children, I have a hard time thinking that Jimmy is watching over me. It is more that I honestly feel so lost in this world with-out Jimmy. I had 3 children, Jimmy was my first. I had just turned 19yrs old when I had him and I feel like he's always been there. I took for granted that he would bury me not the other way around. Also, I constantly feel that I am putting on a happy face & therefore I'm not truly feeling. I have to be strong around the people I work with, around my 20yr & 12yr old, it makes me angry at times that I feel I can't be myself. It isn't anyones fault & I can't be an angry person the rest of my life. He has to be nearby, he loved his little sister so much & he was so very protective of me when he was alive. I should accept that he is nearby and allow myself to open up to him. Just having somewhere to write these feelings and thoughts is helpfull.
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i got anotha 1 of thm fotos i took of the sky it looket like a human swiming in the sky
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While giving Ellis her bath tonight she kept looking over her shoulder to the right of me... all that is there is the sink and wall.. I wish I knew if she was seeing her daddy.
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Comment by Kim Phillips on October 9, 2012 at 3:17pm
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I just don't know how much more I can take. I lost my grandmother a year ago, my soulmate 5 months ago, my aunt 3 months ago and today I had to put down my cat of 21 years. Plus I just found out I have blockages in my heart. I thought GOD only gave us as much as we can handle well hell.... I can't handle anymore. Something in my life has to change. Hugs and blessings to all.
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